Losing virginity

[Bubblegumkid]

Sooo i lost my virginity 3 days ago. It was painful but not as much as i expected it to be. I don't think it was full on penetraction. A day after i noticed my virgina was releasing a brown like substance (i think blood) . It doesn't have a bad smell. Should i be worried?

[Carly]

Hey Bubblegumkid -- welcome to Scarleteen! We're happy to help sort this out with you. Are you by chance near the time you usually have your period? Are you on any hormonal birth control?

[Bubblegumkid]

Heyy Carly

Thing is my periods are very irregular. Sometimes i don't get them for a whole month but i don't think i am near my period date . This has never happened before i get my periods.
I am not on any form of birth control either.

[Carly]

Thanks for clarifying, Bubblegumkid. I was asking because brown discharge commonly indicates that one's period (or withdrawal bleed if they're on birth control) is starting - usually that's called "spotting." Usually that won't have an unusual smell either. Though your periods are irregular on their own, I wanted to add that stress can sometimes make periods unpredictable as well. Has the discharge continued?

I also wanted to offer that it may be some bleeding resulting from an abrasion or scratch from not enough lubrication during vaginal sex. Though vaginas do make their own lubrication, additional lubrication will reduce the irritating friction that can cause abrasions. You read all about lube here.

Also, I know you aren't on any form of birth control. Did you use anything else for pregnancy or STI prevention?

[Bubblegumkid]

Happy new year Carly!

Thanks for the reply, the spotting has stopped , i think it was because I'm gonna get on my periods.

I doubt it was from an abrasion because it didn't even feel like i lost my virginity, my virgina wasn't painful, only my thighs , i don't think he got through the vaginal walls, is this normal??

I didn't use any form of pregnancy, my boyfriend said i should trust his "pull ot game" in terms of pregnancy, we didn't talk about STIs but i promised myself that if we happen to have sex again, we're definitely using protection (condom)

[Sam W]

Hi Bubblegumkid,

If the pain was mostly in your thighs, that might have been tension or strain from whatever position you were in or how you were contracting or flexing your muscles during sex. Someone's penis can't go through the walls of the vagina canal; it can just go in or out of the canal itself.

I think using protection going forward is a good call; the pull-out method is one of the less effective means of birth control (even if someone insists they're good at it). In terms of STIs, can you ask your boyfriend if he's ever been tested? If the answer is no and he's been sexual with other people, then it would be best for you both to get tested just to be on the safe side.

[Bubblegumkid]

So is it possible that we didn't have sex? Because it really didn't feel like we dis.

I don't think he's ever tested but I'll make sure to ask him about it. I'd really hate to get infected with anything so testing is a good idea.
Thank youu

[Sofi]

I agree with Sam, testing is definitely important to be on the safe side. I'm glad you're willing to ask him about it! It's also important, in terms of pregnancy prevention and future STI prevention, to keep using condoms (or any form of birth control you prefer, but it sounded like condoms was what you're comfortable with right now).
As far as your question, I suppose it could be possible that you didn't have sex. Share as much as you feel comfortable with, but without more info it's hard to tell. I understand it feels awkward to ask him, but that might be a way for you two to establish open and healthy communication now that you're sexually active. It could also become a conversation in which you both establish expectations, boundaries, etc (which is not only healthy but important!) Do you think you'd feel comfortable initiating this?

[Bubblegumkid]

I'm not sure about using contraceptives, won't they have harmful effects on my body?

It might be awkward at first if i initiate the conversation but i understand it's important. I want us both to be comfortable and on the same page so as uncomfortable as it may be, I'm willing to try and talk to him about it.
Thank you

[Sam W]

So, contraceptives, especially ones like the birth control pill, have been thoroughly studied and tested to be certain that they're safe for people to use. That being said, people's bodies react in different ways, and sometimes a contraceptive method that looks like a great fit for you on paper turns out to have side effects that are just not something you want to keep dealing with. That's how some people can have good experiences on a method while other people swear it was the worst thing to be on.

Condoms are actually a very solid choice when it comes to a single method of contraception, and if they're what you're comfortable using that's okay! But if you end up wanting to add a second layer of protection, this article is a great starting place: Birth Control Bingo!