BDSM at 14

[Hazel1111.Angel]

I'm having trouble with applying BDSM into masturbating. I know I'm young (14) but when I try to normally jerk off, I can't reach a point of orgasm because it's just not enough. Over some years, I found out I'm really into bdsm. When masturbating I have the strong urge to feel pain and be degraded. I try out things like choking myself and using clothing pins, putting on a collar but it's not enough. I'm starting to realize this is more of Letting out my frustration then I need help post. Maybe both. I actually try to limit myself from masturbating because in the end I can't really feel the pressure that I want to feel and it's annoying and frustrating and I don't know what to do. I'm also thinking of asking my mom or sister who I have a close and open relationship with, if they can buy me a sex toy but I always back out. I also wanna know if theirs people around my age who I can talk comfortably about this and maybe feel better knowing am not the only one struggling. UGHHHHH AND THEN IM SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED FOR LIKE A WEEK AND INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON WHATEVER WORK, IM THINKING ABOUT FANTASIES WITH RANDOM ASS PEOPLEEEEEE, anyways that's all Thank you. (Sorry lol)

[Sam W]

Hi Hazel1111.Angel,

If it helps to know, you're far from the only young person who's interested in BDSM; if you poke around the boards, you'll see quite a few people who are also wondering how to safely explore it as minors.

Do you find getting really into a fantasy helps with that frustration you feel during masturbation at all? And when you say you're not able to feel the "pressure" you want to feel, can you tell me a little more about what feels like it's missing for you?

If you're curious about sex toys, you could try D.I.Ying some: D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition. If you want to ask someone in your life to buy you one, we can also help you work out if or how to have that conversation.