Insecurities

Questions and discussions about your bodies and their parts.
dq15
not a newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2021 10:34 am
Age: 18
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United Kingdom

Insecurities

Unread post by dq15 »

I have always been insecure about my penis size but never thought anything of it and that it would grow when I become a teenager, I turned 15 around 6 months ago, I have seen most of the other signs of puberty and know that it has started a few years ago, yet my penis still hasn’t grown, my testicles have grown but my penis still hasn’t, I have made a few posts about this over the years but now as I am approaching 16 and 18 if I am running out of time, is this something I should go see a doctor about or should I keep waiting and hoping. Not diagnosed with any conditions like micro penis or anything.
Elise
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 275
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2020 4:44 am
Age: 33
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: bisexual/queer
Location: Narrm/Melbourne

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by Elise »

Hi there dq15, sorry to hear that this is something that you are finding stressful at the moment. It is something that a lot of people with penises worry about; a lot of the messages that advertising and "society" say about what it means to be a "man" are exaggerated and unrealistic, and therefore cause a lot of stress to people that isn't useful, and well, stressful! Really, it sounds like you are on a pretty typical timeline at the moment, and definitely not "running out of time". Not only is 18 still quite a ways away (over 2 and a half years), most people with penises like yourself are done with puberty by the time they're 20 - 25, so 18 is not even usually when puberty finishes up.

To quote from the article, Shown Actual Size: A Penis Shape & Size Lowdown, we have on the main Scarleteen site:
We are often asked what the average penis size is for, say, a 15-year-old. The trouble is that where someone is at in puberty isn't the same for people of the same age. For most, penis growth starts anywhere between the ages of 11 and 16, and on average, around 13 or 14 years of age. Before penis growth starts, you'll usually have both a growth spurt in terms of your height, as well as testicle growth. Penises also will tend to grow faster or earlier in length than they will with width.

During the time that young people are going through puberty, before growth is completed, the average penis size for an adolescent of any age varies from between two to five inches. No one asking any of these questions is weird or abnormal: you're all just fine.

Penis growth doesn't happen overnight: it's gradual, just like any other kind of body growth, and may also happen in spurts. In other words, you may have times of some growth, then a long pause, then some more growth again later. By the time you're done with puberty, your penis will be done growing. People with penises will usually be done with puberty by the time they're 20 - 25, and when you're done with it can vary, and is influenced by when you started. Overall, someone who starts puberty on the earlier side will usually be done on the earlier side, while someone who started puberty later will usually end it later.
I understand that hearing this on the one hand can be comforting in the way it provides an understanding that you don't have anything to worry about in the longer term, but that it can still be a frustrating waiting for puberty to keep doing its thing when you've been stressed about it. Do you think about this a lot? Do you have any good ways you like to deal with thoughts or feelings that are stressful, or is it more like they won't go away? If you'd like some more techniques that can help you handle those, let us know and we can provide some pointers.
dq15
not a newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2021 10:34 am
Age: 18
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by dq15 »

I have always worried about it, I have had other signs of puberty like growth spurts and growth in testicles but I haven’t had many other signs, such as penis growth, a considerable change in my voice and I still look the same that I have always done.
dq15
not a newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2021 10:34 am
Age: 18
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by dq15 »

I did start puberty quite late, only properly starting like 13 - 14
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi dq15,

It can help to remember that if you started puberty on the later end of average that you'd find your own development timeline doesn't quite line up with what you see described elsewhere. Too, none of what you're describing here is cause for concern; for instance, it's common for testicle growth to occur before any change in penis size does.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
dq15
not a newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2021 10:34 am
Age: 18
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by dq15 »

I haven’t been on in a while but I have another problem, my foreskin is still very tight I can only ever pull it back when I am say in the shower or something, even then it sometimes won’t go all the way over the head and I end up having to hold it in place, I find that it also gets stuck after I am done cleaning and try to pull the skin back over which can sometimes cause me discomfort. The head is also still super sensitive and I can’t touch it without it feeling weird and sometimes painful, what should I do?
Sofi
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 487
Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2020 12:23 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I make my own nail art!
Primary language: Spanish or English
Pronouns: she/they
Sexual identity: Queer
Location: USA

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by Sofi »

While it's normal for some people's foreskin to be tight, it shouldn't be causing you discomfort and there also shouldn't be actual pain involved when you touch the head of the penis. My advice would be to make an appointment with a doctor and ask them about it so you can get a professional opinion on it. The good thing is it doesn't seem like anything urgent if it's how it's always been, but again, you don't want any discomfort or pain to be happening so it's best to check.
dq15
not a newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2021 10:34 am
Age: 18
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by dq15 »

I have only recently been able to pull back the foreskin, like about a year ago so it might still be sensitive?
Carly
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 471
Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2020 9:13 pm
Age: 32
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: Bisexual
Location: American Midwest

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by Carly »

Hey dq15 -- I agree with Sofi here, if its causing you some discomfort it might be a good idea to make sure everything is ok with a doctor.
dq15
not a newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2021 10:34 am
Age: 18
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by dq15 »

Am I able to book my own doctors appointment, I feel like telling my parent would be too embarrassing?
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by Sam W »

You should be able to! Do you have a GP that you normally see? If so, I would start by getting in touch with their office.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
dq15
not a newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2021 10:34 am
Age: 18
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by dq15 »

No I don’t have a usual GP and haven’t needed to go to the doctors for anything other than vaccination boosters since I was like 10
dq15
not a newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2021 10:34 am
Age: 18
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by dq15 »

Would I be able to discuss my worries about penis size with the GP?
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by Sam W »

Yes, that would be something you could discuss with them. Do you know how to contact the doctors' office where you've been getting vaccinations? Because they might be able to offer appointments with GPs as well.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
dq15
not a newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2021 10:34 am
Age: 18
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by dq15 »

Nope when I got my general boosters at 14 I wasn’t allowed to book it myself and my parent had to do it, so no not a clue. Would I be able to bring up my penis size worries to the GP and what are the options for loosening the foreskin as I really don’t want to get circumcised.
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Insecurities

Unread post by Sam W »

Yes, like I said above you should be able to talk with them about this. You'll also want to talk with them about options for loosening the foreskin without surgical intervention, because that's something we recommend you do under the guidance of a healthcare provider. You can read about how that process might look here: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... ifications
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic