First time sex

[Zooweemama.1]

Me and My now ex bf had sex a couple of months ago. But it felt normal. Like there wasn't any explosion of feelings and it didn't feel horrible. Is that normal? It didn't really feel like anything and it feels like he was mainly focusing on his own pleasure. He tried to finger me and I didn't really feel anything so I just pretended it felt good to make him feel good. Is it normal to not feel anything during sex? At first I thought it was a sexuality thing but I'm not asexual because I know I'd have sex again and I also know I like boys and girls still. But is it normal?

[Sam W]

Hi Zooweemama.1,

One of the things that doesn't really get talked about when it comes to sex is that it can feel a TON of different ways, and that how it feels can vary for a given person from instance to instance. Too, the biggest factor in how sex feels is the brain; if it's not engaged, not turned on, or picking up on some negative stuff, sex is unlikely to feel good. In your case, it's very possible that being able to tell your boyfriend was focused on himself instead of both of you was just a big arousal killer. Does that make sense?

I think you may find this article about a similar experience helpful right now: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/rela ... l_there_is

Would it be helpful to talk about some ways to help make partnered sex more pleasurable for the next time you decide to have it?