clit stops feeling good during masturbation

[dreaminglucid]

Hi, i’m 18, and i’ve been trying to masturbate for about 4 maybe 5 years and i’ve never experienced an orgasm.

The root of the problem is that my body is not super sensitive except for my clit. So for me, masturbation is just limited to clitoris stimulation because basically nothing else feels interesting. And yes, i’ve gone poking around for my g spot. Either i don’t have one or it’s really well hidden. And my nipples can feel a little sensitive sometimes but always during the day at awkward moments and never when i’m trying to pleasure myself. The problem with all this is that touching my clit feels nice for about 5 minutes tops, until it becomes way too sensitive and starts hurting, and i (for lack of a better word) dry up, and go to sleep disappointed.

Any advice ? (Also i do have plans to try out sex toys specifically vibrators when i leave home but i’m not quite there yet)

[Sam W]

Hi dreaminglucid,

You know, while some people just have really sensitive bodies overall, it's equally common for folks to have bodies like yours where your clitoris is just way more sensitive than the rest of it (which isn't all that surprising, since it's such a dense collection of nerve endings).

As for advice, can I ask how involved your brain is when you try masturbating? Are you super engaged in a fantasy or piece of sexual media? Or are you bored, finding your mind drifting off towards other thoughts, or even just focusing on "is NOW the day I orgasm?"

If you're curious about sex toys and you're still living at home, there are actually some ways you might be able to experiment with them by D.I.Ying your own! D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition

[dreaminglucid]

hi sam

well, for a long time, i guess i was just exploring and trying random stuff and i was super confused as to why it didn’t feel great. so i was not rly focused on any media when i was younger

but recently i’ve been experimenting with some audio files which i think are really awesome and they make me feel nice but it’s not rly worked either. so i suppose ive tried both ?

i guess i am kinda worried about being 18 and being so late on the orgasm trend or whatever. so it’s possible that that’s an added pressure. but i’m not sure how to remedy that.

im just worried that it’s not normal, and im kinda nervous that if i ever have sex then nothing my partner would do to me would feel good for very long, let alone to get me anywhere.

sorry for the late reply, i’m moving out soon so it’s been a mess

[Sam W]

Hi dreaminglucid,

Oh man, moving can be so chaotic!

You know, I wouldn't say you're "late" to anything; something I've learned over years of doing this work is that lots of people need time to work out what works for their body when it comes to orgasm. Orgasm can get presented as something that's very easy and automatic, but the truth is plenty of people are in a similar situation to you.

It makes a lot of sense that you're still at a point where you're learning what sexual media, or what kinds of touch, work best for you. One thing you might find helpful is to try out some of the tips in this article and see what they do to your experience of masturbation: How to Approach Sexual Fantasy and Desire on Your Own Terms.

I totally get those worries about what this all means for sex with a partner. One thing it can help to remember is that you're not there yet, so stressing out about it is sort of borrowing trouble for now. But, more importantly, there are lots of ways to experience pleasure during partnered sex that don't require your clit, or even touching your genitals at all. For instance, you may find that there are parts of your body that it's incredibly pleasurable for your partner to touch. Or you may even find that things that feel too intense when you try them feel just right with a partner. Does that all make sense?