Fingering

[masu]

My boyfriend and i made out yesterday. He was fingering me and after some time i started bleeding. He did it twice and both time i started bleeding for some time. It wasnt heavy bleeding. Is it normal or should i be worried?

[Valerie J]

Hi!

Generally, unless its coming from menstruating (is this a possibility?), blood is not expected in intercourse but it can happen. When you were doing this, was it painful? Did it feel forceful?

I wanted to share this direct quote from our founder, Heather, who has spoken on a similar issue before:

If it hurts? Press pause.

Manual sex really shouldn't hurt -- nor should it just be something one gets used to: sex should feel GOOD -- and if it did hurt a lot, it was likely because y'all weren't using lubricant if there was insertion of fingers into the vagina, because you weren't aroused enough before and/or during, because your partner and you weren't doing anything BUT insertion of fingers into the vagina, because it was too deep, too hard, too fast, or just plain not what felt good to you. In other words, loads of reasons, but most taken care of pretty easily with active, clear communication and recognition of your needs.

I'm also attaching an article that has a bunch of linked pieces at the bottom that may be relavent to your experience so feel free to check them out!
Innies & Outies: The Penis, Testes and More

[masu]

No, it wasn't painful. It felt good and my period dates werent near as well. Should i be worried...?

[Valerie J]

Is it still bleeding? Was it a lot of blood or more like spotting? Are you on any form of birth control? If so what?

I cannot diagnose you as I am not a doctor and this is a messaging platform. If you want a specific answer I would recommend going to a gynocologist. It not being painful is a good sign. But again, not a confirmation.

[masu]

No its not still bleeding, it was just for some time and it wasnt even much. Not spotting exactly a bit more than that but it wasnt so much that it would leave a stain on my jeans.
No i am not on any birth control.

[Valerie J]

Okay well there's always a chance theres been a change in your menstration cycle that could lead to this bleeding. Are you having penile pentrative sex right now? Or has it just been fingering? Also, I forgot to ask a more important question, is this the first time you've used something pentratively?

Generally, it doesn't sound too worrying. If it continues you should stop and find a doctor. Any pain or discomfort should be a sign to slow down. There's a chance if there wasn't enough lubrication, that some friction occured and could have caused a small amount of bleeding. So I would always advise adding lube to the mix.

Lube 101: A Slick Little primer
Lubricant (Not Diamonds) Is A Girl's Best Friend
I orgasm first but now I'm bleeding]
One bloody Messs Myths Realities of Bleeding with First Intercourse]
This last article highlights two possibilities that I am going to quote here.

2.) When a partner is too rough. If a partner is too rough or forceful with their penis, fingers or a sex toy, whether a person is aroused or not, that can cause injury and bleeding.
4.) If the corona or hymen is still in the process of wearing away or has worn away very little, and that intercourse or entry tears (in which case this is bleeding usually actually due to #2), stretches or erodes it. This is the reason people tend to most commonly think is why vaginal bleeding with intercourse happens: some people even think it's the only reason. Age can be a big factor when this is the cause. Because this tissue wears away over time, the younger a woman or girl is when she has intercourse the more likely it is that there's more of the corona to wear away, and the more likely it is there will be some bleeding. Consider that in our modern day, for as much as you hear adults talking about how young people having sex in their teens and twenties are, many women in history, and in some places still, had first intercourse (and marriage) at even younger ages than now. So, when it comes to specifically hymenal bleeding, it's something we likely see less of now than we did 500 or more years ago.

As well, arousal and lubrication is an issue with this one, too. The corona is usually very stretchy and flexible, so even someone who has one that's not yet eroded enough to be totally out of the way can have pleasurable sex without bleeding from that tissue when they are aroused and lubricated enough, be that lubrication from their own bodies or from a bottle. In that case, the corona often just slides to the side of the vaginal opening a lot like the inner labia stay to the side during intercourse.

[masu]

I dont think so that it had anything to do with my periods because my period date is 2nd September.
He tried fingering before this and at that time too there was some bleeding but i thought that it was because of my periods as there were just 2-3 days before my period dates. It has just been fingering and nothing else.

[Carly]

Hey masu -- if it's not your period, then I think it's definitely an indicator that you and your boyfriend may need something to help with the friction when he fingers you. Valerie sent along some great resources about lubricant that I think might be helpful!