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Unable to achieve an orgasm

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
Advice123
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2022 2:51 pm
Age: 21
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm optimistic
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Location: SA

Unable to achieve an orgasm

Unread post by Advice123 »

Hello, my girlfriend has been struggling to achieve an orgasm and we're not sure why. She may stimulate herself through means of the clit, or internally fingering herself, but it's never enough to reach orgasm, and after a while it will begin to hurt and then she's unable to continue because she then doesn't feel anything anymore (physically)
Does anyone know why this may be, and what she can do to have an orgasm?
Carly
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 471
Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2020 9:13 pm
Age: 32
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: Bisexual
Location: American Midwest

Re: Unable to achieve an orgasm

Unread post by Carly »

Hey Advice123 -- what you're describing is one of the most common things users write in to us to talk about on the boards. Our bodies are all so different, so sometimes it can be hard to tell someone exactly what will help in cases like this. One trend I do notice though is that it's very uncommon that there's actually something physically wrong. We do end up finding through talking with users that blockages to feeling pleasure often start with mental health difficulties like negative body image, gender dysphoria, anxiety, depression, discomfort, and frustration. Our brains are our biggest sexual organ, after all. Has your girlfriend ever experienced any of these? Sometimes the ongoing frustration of an issue can be the source of continued difficulties.
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