i don’t feel anything during vag penetration

[mizuk]

okay so i’ve been masturbating for a long time, but i’ve only strictly been doing clitoral masturbation which is great. but i’ve really wanted to use fingers and i even bought a small dildo (5”) to help me but i don’t feel anything when i use it. fingers don’t work, and i’ve also tried clitoral stimulation while using the dildo at the same time. im worried that i won’t feel anything when i end up with someone. will i ever be able to feel something eventually or should i give up ?

[Sam W]

Hi Mizuk,

So, it's not that strange that you don't feel much when inserting things into the vaginal canal. The vagina itself, especially past the first 1/3rd of it, has hardly any sensory nerve endings at all. The sensations people feel inside the vagina are often more about the external and internal clitoris, than the vagina itself.

That being said, even if stimulating the vaginal canal doesn't feel like much to you, there's no reason you couldn't enjoy partnered sex down the line. Sex with another person is all about figuring out what feels good (and what doesn't) for each of you and going from there, rather than trying to get your body to respond to certain kinds of stimulation. Does that make sense?

[mizuk]

Hi Sam,

sooo i just had sex yesterday. but, it wasn’t enjoyable for me. i really liked the guy, he turns me on a lot so there wasn’t an issue with arousal. however, when we began, it kind of just felt like something sliding in and out of me instead of feeling actual pleasure. i was disappointed because i thought it would feel somewhat a little better with the actual thing.

what you said before though does make sense. i kind of feel bad because i communicated with the guy about how intercourse does nothing for me but it does everything for him, which i’m afraid will make him uninterested

[Nicole]

Hi mizuk,

I'm really sorry that this experience wasn't enjoyable for you! Based on your initial post, I'm going to assume that this was your first time. To be completely honest, the first time anyone has sex is typically not a super amazing experience. This might stem from inexperience or simply just not knowing what feels good yet. I'm glad you communicated this with your partner though, it's good to be direct with how you're feeling so there isn't any confusion down the line. Your experiences and feelings matter too. You shouldn't feel bad about that at all!

By any chance, did you discuss alternative options with him that could be pleasurable for you both? I know you mentioned that clitoral stimulation works well for you, so maybe you both could incorporate that into sex? Let me know what you think!