I think masturbating has become bad for my health but I can't stop

[skzly]

this is so embarrassing so I can't really reach out to anyone about this. but I'm seeing doctors all the time now trying to get a fix for my constant fatigue and migraines. I have anemia, but it's gotten so bad recently and we don't know why (and plus the doctor told me that anemia shouldn't be causing headaches like this anyway).

well I noticed my head feels awful particularly after I masturbate. like my head gets all fuzzy and pressured and an hour later i feel too sluggish to move. I know there's no "normal" way to masturbate,
and how often etc. , but I have always felt out of control when it comes to masturbating, like I do it without thinking. it feels like an addiction.

and I'm wondering if the extent I'm taking it to (like an hour+ a day) is causing an actual strain on my body and head. I hate this so much, ive been stuck this way since i was like 9 so it's so hard to break the cycle now. but I'm torn because when I try to stop, I tell myself that it's a normal and enjoyable thing so my heart is never in really stopping for good.

but how on earth do I stop? I don't want to die early cuz I masturbated too hard and gave myself an aneurysm or something and im super worried im causing myself long term damage cuz there's no way I can tell concern this to a doctor

[Mo]

Hi skzly, good to see you again! I'm sorry that something this stressful is what's brought you back, though.

Do you know whether you hold a lot of tension in your head, jaw, neck, etc. while masturbating? Sometimes people will be in the habit of clenching muscles pretty tightly during the masturbation process, and this can cause some pain or soreness afterwards. I have anecdotally heard about people experiencing headaches, either brief or longer-lasting, after masturbation who eventually realized they were really tensing up in that area while masturbating.

I think it's worth trying to make note of this the next few times you masturbate, and if you notice that sort of tension in how you're holding yourself, maybe it's something you'll be able to adjust. You may be used to masturbating in certain ways, which may include how you're tensing your muscles, but it could be that being aware of it might be enough to get you to hold yourself differently. I don't know if this will make a difference, but it might!

I do want to say, though, that if masturbating feels like it's become something that's compulsive or hard to stop, that might be worth examining more closely. It's definitely true that masturbation is normful and not inherently harmful! It can be a wonderful and healthy thing to do! But ideally, you'd be masturbating because you want to, because it feels good overall, and not because it feels like something you must do or something you're doing out of habit but not getting much enjoyment from. I'm curious: have you tried anything in between just continuing as you have been and trying to stop altogether? I wonder if it would be a helpful exercise to try and masturbate more deliberately, when it's something you're feeling a real desire for.

[skzly]

hiya,

so yeah I've been thinking about it for the last month+ and I can see where the tension was being held in my head. I can't finish in any other position tho, and I find it hard to stop when I start, so even though I keep telling myself I need to stop this I haven't.

so it defo feels compulsive and I just wish I knew how to get back some control. I want it to be enjoyable again and not just something I do because I'm bored and it's a habit.

in terms of trying to stop I've tried several methods over the years. completely stopping, or just reducing it a bit everyday, but it didn't work. making a pledge to myself that I will stop has allowed me to stop for a few days or a week and then I forget and give in again.

it's also probably linked to me still having no sexual experience so I'm stuck with all my needs in my head.

would you have any advice for stopping this addiction?

[Sam W]

Hi skzly,

Have you noticed yourself dealing with compulsive behaviors in any other places in your life, or is masturbation really the only place where you start without really wanting to or are unable to stop when you want to (I use "compulsion" rather than addiction when talking about issues with masturbating because it tends to more accurately describe the behavior)?

When you've tried limiting how much you masturbate in the past, were there techniques or strategies you used when you felt that desire coming up? And when you say you'd eventually forget and start again, can you say a little more about what that involved?