Problem with sexual stimulation

[VirtualSpirit]

Hello everyone!

Me [M17] and my girlfriend [F18] are sexually active to say the least; we have sex! Now, I was able to make her discover the world of clitoral stimulation and I believe she likes it quite a lot (thank God she does). However... there's a strange problem she encountered.

Naturally, she wanted to try it alone and have fun when we do it independently, but it doesn't work at all. She told me it doesn't feel anything, nothing. I even asked her to try it once when we were doing "it" and once it was her hand; the pleasure disappeared. Essentially, it works when I do it for her, not when it's her on her own.

So, that's why we are here: is there a reason for this phenomenon? And if so, can you help us?

- A couple.

[Sam W]

Hi VirtualSpirit,


So, while there can be a lot of overlap between what people enjoy during masturbation and what they enjoy during partnered sex, some people do find that there are things that feel great with a partner that are underwhelming when they try them on there own. It's possible that's what's happening here. If it's starting to be something that she feels like she "should" enjoy on her own or when she uses her hand, there could also be an element of pressure involved, and pressure is one of the quickest ways to diminish pleasure.

Too, can you say more why you and she feel this a problem to be solved, rather than just a variation in how her body responds to things?

[VirtualSpirit]

Hi VirtualSpirit,


So, while there can be a lot of overlap between what people enjoy during masturbation and what they enjoy during partnered sex, some people do find that there are things that feel great with a partner that are underwhelming when they try them on there own. It's possible that's what's happening here. If it's starting to be something that she feels like she "should" enjoy on her own or when she uses her hand, there could also be an element of pressure involved, and pressure is one of the quickest ways to diminish pleasure.

Too, can you say more why you and she feel this a problem to be solved, rather than just a variation in how her body responds to things?

Absolutely!

Well, the reason is that she feels slightly disappointed with the fact that she cannot do it on her own (with her fingers at least, she never had a toy). We sometimes feel horny and we do it together through the phone, but she cannot feel pleasure; which is disappointing to her. Perhaps it is simply how her body works, but that's why we are asking for advice .

[Sam W]

Thanks for that extra information! If part of what's going on is she's feeling disappointed or isn't feeling much during phone sex, then it might be helpful for her to keep exploring her body through masturbation to learn what other things feel good to her, so she can use those when she wants/needs to.

[VirtualSpirit]

Thanks for that extra information! If part of what's going on is she's feeling disappointed or isn't feeling much during phone sex, then it might be helpful for her to keep exploring her body through masturbation to learn what other things feel good to her, so she can use those when she wants/needs to.

Alrighty! Thank you so much for your help, it helps us a lot !

[Sam W]

You're very welcome!