Trouble in turn on during masturbation

[MariaSjohn]

Am 22 year old women and i have done masturbating many times. Firstly it was very easy you do it and reach the climax. Sometimes i watch something that to turn on me. And it was going good. But now a days i cant get wet naturally. And its so hard to do it and cant reach it. Am tensed. Is it because of the habit of watching and doing? Or is it ok? Please anyone reply me on this.

[Sam W]

Hi MariaSjohn,

The first thing I want to say is that it's unlikely that masturbating often or watching things that turn you on is what's causing this. Masturbation, even frequent masturbation, doesn't somehow damage the body's sexual response.

You mention you feel tense during masturbation, and since tension and stress tend to kill arousal, that could be the main reason you're not feeling aroused. Can you say a little more about where that tension comes from? Is it just related to worries that masturbation won't feel good, or are there other things in your life that are making you tense as well?

[MariaSjohn]

Yes, am tensed because of cant feeling good at that time. Because once upon a time it was so easy and good one for me. Am getting aroused, and reached the climax.
Is the watching habit is the cause?

[Elise]

Hi there MariaSjohn, as Sam mentioned above, it is most likely starting off feeling stressed that is the main thing that is impacting your arousal when trying to masturbate.

This is because the brain is a really important part of how sexual response and arousal works. If you are feeling really stressed or worried about the outcome of masturbation, the brain it will avoid allowing arousal because it is preoccupied with removing the stress.

You can read more about this in this article by Scarleteen's founder, Heather, Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide - to quote directly from them: "If we're sick or stressed out, tired, preoccupied, or feel guilty shameful or upset, it's hard to feel sexual pleasure, let alone orgasm. Cut yourself a break when that happens. Go do something else you enjoy. Honor what your body is trying to tell you it needs. Just like it's not a good idea to eat when you aren't hungry, it's not a good idea to have any sort of sex when you're not interested or when your body isn't up to it. The beauty of sexuality is that it is with you your whole life: you can't miss out on anything. You have your whole life to enjoy it. "

In the short term, it could be good to try taking a break from masturbating and instead focus on doing other things that you enjoy, that make you feel happy or relaxed. You could also try re-framing your approach when you do masturbate, and make it about finding things that feel good to you during, rather than getting to a certain outcome. This could be noticing the sensory experiences of touch that you enjoy, regardless of whether these bring you to orgasm. Solely focusing on orgasm can add stress to the experience and also take away the opportunity to get more enjoyment out of sex, solo or partnered, if the other enjoyable parts are ignored, does that make sense?

Finally with your question about watching arousing media, many people enjoy doing this and it isn't a cause of being stressed about climax on its own. However, sometimes our brains are more or less interested by different things, so it is very common that the same media or imagined fantasies don't make us feel the same way every time, so I would avoid focusing on the media you use to be a "problem" and rather take the pressure off yourself to masturbate in any particular way or with or without any particular media.

I hope this information is useful to you, if you have any questions or curiosities please don't hesitate to ask here in this thread.

[MariaSjohn]

Thankyou so much Elise for this reply. Now am relaxed by reading this one.... Thankyou for your support

[Elise]

Glad to hear the reply was helpful for you . If you have any questions about sexuality or relationships in the future please don't hesitate to post here on the Scarleteen boards.

[MariaSjohn]

Sure