the thought of being penetrated turns me on, but when i penetrate myself i feel nothing. help!

[SillyMcGoof_]

hi its been a bit!
im writing this at 12:30 am so excuse me if i make any spelling/grammar mistakes.

so as the title says, the thiught of penetration really turns me on, but when i penetrate myself i dont feel much.

im just stuck and im not sure what to do bc i really wanna carry out my fantasy but when i try i dont feel much. maybe its bc its my fingers and not something penis looking that makes me feel not that much pleasure? idk.

i know that alot of people dont orgasm or anything like that with vaginal penetration, but idk im just stuck i suppose bc i really want to carry out my fantasy and feel pleasure from it but idk how.

sorry if this post is a mess like i said its really late but i wanted to get this out before i forget.

any advice is appreciated, thanks!!

[Amanda B]

Hi SillyMcGoof,

It sounds really frustrating that you're having a hard time carrying out a fantasy. Sometimes what seems pleasurable in our heads may not actually work out in real life, and that's okay. The vaginal canal doesn't have very many nerve endings. As you said, many people don't experience pleasure from penetration alone. You can read more about all of this here: Not feeling much with penetration, what's up with that?.

I know we had discussed difficulty accessing sex toys in previous posts, as well as the fact that you've already tried different positions when masturbating. While this can feel frustrating, it's also a fun opportunity to continue being creative with your sexuality. It's so important to not lose sight of the fun, pleasurable aspects of sexuality. It can be easy to get caught up with a specific goal in mind, and goals are great to have. But I also think keeping an open mind when exploring your sexuality is essential. What works for one person may not work for you and that's totally fine. And what seems like it will feel good when fantasizing may not actually feel good, and that's okay too!

It may also be fun to continue fantasizing about being penetrated but stick with what you know feels good. The brain is one of the most important components of sexuality, and even if the real-life experience isn't matching what's in your head, you may still be able to enjoy yourself. Hope this helps!

[SillyMcGoof_]

that helps so much!!! thank you :))