i don't know what's happening with me

[gracia]

I'm 15, I'm non-binary and AFAB. I've tried masturbation many times but I've never felt anything while doing it. I've tried clitoral stimulation and penetration with my fingers, and neither of those made me feel anything, I just felt the physical sensation of my fingers on my vagina. I've also never felt aroused or horny before, and I've never had a sexual fantasy. Is there something wrong with me? I sort of hope I'm not asexual, even though I know there's nothing wrong with that. I've had crushes on people, and I know when I find someone attractive, but it feels weird to go around thinking about having sex with random people I think are hot, but apparently that's a thing? I don't know. I can envision myself having sex with someone, and it doesn't feel gross. I've read erotica before, and felt a little bit of arousal in my belly but never anything prolonged or drastic, and that's the most sexual pleasure I've ever felt. I feel like I'm missing out on something. I've also watched porn before, and I didn't really feel anything either then. It was honestly kind of gross to watch. Any help/guidance appreciated?

[Sam W]

Hi gracia,

I want to start out by saying that there's nothing wrong with you. In fact, if you take a look around the boards, you'll see that lots of people are dealing with similar situations.

I will say that part of this may be that you're at an age where you're still in the midst of learning what fantasies you enjoy or what--if anything--you find arousing. So some of this may come down to a matter of patience and experimentation.

Can you tell me a little more about your experiences of pleasure more generally? Are there things you find pleasurable to one or more of your senses (that could be a hot bath, a piece of music, anything really)?

[gracia]

hi, i know this was a while ago, but i don't really feel this way anymore. right now i can't really be bothered with masturbation, and i honestly feel kind of neutral about it. i'm kind of cringing reading back what i wrote, because i had randomly gotten really stressed that day about it. nothing much else has changed, but now i feel a lot less weirdly about everything. i definitely understand that there's nothing wrong with how i felt. idk.

[Sam W]

Hi Gracia,

I'm glad you're feeling better, or at least less stressed, about all this! If you ever have more questions or other things about sex, masturbation and the like that's stressing you our or that you want to learn about, you're more than welcome to ask them here!