how do i keep things interesting with masturbation without hurting myself?

[SillyMcGoof_]

hi! its been a bit!

so ig for some backstory i most likely have lupus (i say most likely bc our rheumatologist is pretty sure its that but she still isn’t 100% sure and needs to do more labs) and for me that comes with alot of joint and muscle pain, which worsens under certain circumstances.

this has made me extremely limited in terms of masturbation, as alot of positions and movements can be pretty painful for me and i have to stop. for example i do feel pleasure when it comes to things like humping pillows but due to the pain and discomfort i get while doing it i cant really do that, no matter how much i want to.

is there any advice on things i can do in terms of spicing up my sex life but limits the amount of pain i feel during it? thanks!!

[Nicole]

Hi SillyMcGoof_,

I hope you're doing okay! I'm really sorry to hear about the pain you're experiencing. With that, I think the solution to this depends entirely on your pain threshold and where the pain is located. I don't know much about Lupus, but I do know that it comes with joint and muscle pain. If you don't mind sharing, where exactly is your pain located? Maybe we can find a way to work around this/these area(s)?

For now, I recommend experimenting with different sensations and touch to see what causes you pain and what doesn't. It's important to listen to your body. I highly recommend this piece of ours: No sexual sensitivity? I know the title isn't what you're experiencing, but paragraphs 4 and 5 go into detail about a "body scan" that you could benefit from trying. Please take a look and let me know what you think!

[SillyMcGoof_]

hi!! i appreciate the concern! im alright though for the most part as its kinda been like this for most if not all of my life unfortunately. i am seeing a very good rheumatologist though so hopefully that will help with some things!

alot of my pain when it comes to sexy stuff in particular is mainly in the legs, and a bit in the arms iirc (it varies slightly with different positions, but thats where i’ve noticed the more intense pain when doing positions that aren’t just sitting or laying down). although generally the pain is kinda a bit all over the place, and the severity depends on the day. it does worsen with certain physical activity, especially kinds where you’re in funky positions, which is alot of where my problems with sex in regards to my disease stem from.

hopefully that all made a bit of sense lol its a bit hard to explain!!

i’ll definitely check out that article and try the body scan thing aswell! thanks!!

[Sam W]

That does make sense! It sounds like some of what will happen is you figuring out different positions or movements to incorporate into masturbation that work with the demands of your body. That can be frustrating, especially if you notice the pain moves around your body from day to day. If you haven't seen it already, this article on masturbating while working with a disability (including things like chronic pain) might have some tips you can use: https://www.scarleteen.com/taking_your_ ... disability

[SillyMcGoof_]

yeah its pretty tough. also thanks!!! that helps alot!!