struggles regarding hrt

[SillyMcGoof_]

hi! i know that realistically this is an issue thats more something to bring to a professional, but at this moment i dont really have a professional to talk to so i thought here is my best bet rn (if posts like this aren’t allowed feel free to delete this)

for some background info, as said in previous posts im 14, transmasc, and part of a plural system. for the past few years we’ve been going back and fourth on the topic of hrt. for the most part most of us want it but also some of us have some concerns so we’re just not sure what to do.

we really want the deeper voice, body hair, bottom growth, etc, but some of us are also scared of some of the changes. we’re kinda scared that we’ll regret it and we’re also scared of going on hrt given the current state of the us (we’re in a safe state but things could change)

so yeah any advice regarding this? im just not 100% sure on what to do going forward.

[Carly]

Hey SillyMcGoof -- what feels scary about HRT? You mentioned some stuff that's coming up, but can you elaborate on those feelings? Answering these will help us give you advice, but also sometimes just letting it all flow out can help you come to a decision. This might be especially helpful if there's disagreement in your plural system.

[SillyMcGoof_]

hi carly! i guess our main concerns are related to things like mood changes, vaginal atrophy, i believe t can also make you more sensitive to heat or something similar to that so thats another one, also im just scared that we’ll regret it and/or really miss certain parts of our body pre hrt, and we’re also just generally scared of change (even positive change sometimes), as we are autistic and have trouble with those things.

another concern lies with the fact that the us is pretty scary for trans people right now, as there are hundreds of anti trans bills being spread across the country. as i mentioned before im currently in a safe state, but also that could change in the future which is mainly what in afraid of.

i guess in terms of disagreements in our system, i dont think any of us are like completely opposed to hrt, but some of us are definitely much more concerned about it than others because of some of the resons stated previously (and maybe some more that we cant think of atm).

hopefully that clears things up a bit better and gives you more to work with, although feel free to ask more questions if you need more info! ^^

[Sam W]

Hi SillyMcGoof_,

In terms of the HRT itself, you may be in a place where you still have a few years to decide; in a lot of places, if someone is under the age of 18 their only hormonal option will be to go on blockers, rather than start T.

When the question of starting T does become more of an actual option, have you given any thought to starting on a low dose? This article goes into more detail, but low-dose testosterone can be a great option if you're nervous about dealing with a bunch of changes at once: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... stosterone

I do want to add that it's completely understandable to factor in the political climate when you're making these decisions. I hate, and I mean HATE, that trans folks are having to make that calculation, but deciding how to balance your safety with your transition is something that you have every right to do.

[SillyMcGoof_]

hey sam!

i believe in my state it is now legal to go on hrt with parental consent if you’re 14 and up (i believe my doctor asked me about hormones or something similar when i last visited her too bc she knows im trans and that i have expressed wanting them in the past). as for blockers, im not sure if that would do too much as im already basically done with puberty for the most part.

i think if i do choose to go on t i will go on a low dose bc i feel like that would be best atleast to start with. i’ll make sure to read the article you provided aswell!

thanks!

[Heather]

I also just want to pop in to let you know that HRT, as a term, will often pull up hormone therapies for menopausal people, or just older information since it's not the most modern term. That "R" was always a problem, since the idea that hormones can be "replaced" or need to be (for menopausal folks, who the term originated for).

Instead, if you're doing research for yourself, you'll probably want to drop the R and just look for info on HT, or, hormone therapy, spelled out, or, in your case, the more specific testosterone therapy. <3

[SillyMcGoof_]

ohh ok i didn’t know that!! thanks for letting me know!

[Heather]

Sure thing. Using that term doesn't mean someone's info is outdated, just FYI. Some places do still use it, especially if they do or have served an older population, or they want to be sure to catch people looking for help or info who do only know the older terminology.

[SillyMcGoof_]

ok i know this thread is months old now but ig i wanted to give a little update???

i still keep going through i guess little bursts of really wanting ht to just kinda forgetting about it and not really caring as much. i guess im just still not sure which direction to go in. i just keep imagining our body with facial and body hair and a deeper voice and idk i just. i want it. but in a few days-weeks we’ll probably stop caring much again. im just worried that if we keep procrastinating on making a decision that it’ll soon be too late. i know its technically never too late, especially because im only gonna be 15 in a few months, but idk its hard to explain my thought process.

idk i just wanted to get that out there. maybe to get some advice or talk through it with someone more knowledgeable than me or my mom? idk

[Sam W]

Hi SillyMcGoof_,

I think a useful idea to hold onto is that there isn't a huge rush, so if you need more time to feel our what you want, you get to take that and only start on T if/when you feel like it's the right call for you.

Too, this may be another point in favor of starting out on a low dose; that would allow you to experience some of the changes that appeal to you, but they'd come much more slowly and subtly than if you went on a higher. But that would let you see how actually experiencing, rather than thinking about, those changes make feel.

[SillyMcGoof_]

hiya!!

i guess its hard to tell if i need more time or not if that makes sense, and its hard to tell what would be the right call for me.

i could look more into starting on a low dose, but again its hard to tell if i should wait or just finally go for it.

too, im not sure how it would interact with my illness (possibly illnesses) and my current medication, and i worry that bc i probably have lupus that it could put me more at risk for stuff.

i guess overall im just not really sure what decision i should make, but im also not sure if waiting longer is helping much either, as i just sort of seem to be stuck in a loop of the same sort of thoughts surrounding it if that makes sense

[Carly]

Hey McGoof -- I wanted to circle back real quick to getting a doctor involved in this decision. Just because it sounds like you're at a crossroads that's depending on some important information, and they may be able to shed some light on the status of your illnesses and medication in relation to the decision to go on T. I think you said your doctor checked in about this before, right? Can you give us an update on this?

[SillyMcGoof_]

hiya!!!

just for clarification are you referring to what i said about my doctor asking me about t, or something else?

[Carly]

Hey! Yep, that's what I'm asking about. You mentioned your doctor asked you about hormones when you last saw her. I could have misunderstood what you said, also. In general I'm just wondering where you're at with involving your doctor because you have some concerns about medical interactions.

[SillyMcGoof_]

ohhh ok. uhh she asked me at my last physical if i had interest in that stuff and i said no for some reason (probably either bc i wasn’t sure or didn’t wanna make it a whole thing idk). nothing really has happened since then tho bc i haven’t seen her since my last physical (the only doc im seeing rn is my rheumatologist)

[SillyMcGoof_]

i think it would probably be good to get my primary doc involved for multiple reasons but idrk how to like. ask my mom to message her and stuff. and i guess im also nervous for what my doc say about it, aswell as my mom when i ask her.

[Sam W]

Would it be helpful to brainstorm here how to bring this up with your mom so she can help you arrange that appointment?

[SillyMcGoof_]

yes please!! that would help a lot!

[Sam W]

Okay! To start with, do you feel like you have a good sense of how your mom feels about you potentially starting on T? Does she seem supportive about it, or has she raised concerns if it's come up in the past?

[SillyMcGoof_]

she does have some concerns, mainly regarding my age and the chance of me regretting it

[Sam W]

Do you think you could frame the conversation you want to have with your general physician as a chance for both you and her to ask questions? Because it seems like this is already a place where you have some worries or questions of your own to ask about, so her having space to ask hers and maybe get some of her concerns addressed could be beneficial to both of you.

Too, if you think you might need them, we can find some studies on the regret rates of physical transition (the general findings of which are that it's very, very low).

[SillyMcGoof_]

i do think that could be beneficial, yes!!

although another concern that i forgot to mention earlier is that my mom cant really take much more time off of work rn for another appointment, as we both already have a bunch, so im not 100% sure how we’ll be able to fit that into our schedule and im not sure if we could go on the weekend.

you can provide the studies mentioned if you’d like, just in case i need them, but if its too much trouble its ok if not.

[Sam W]

No trouble at all! This article summarizes the findings of the most recent, reliable study on trans youth, hormones, and regret: https://www.thedailybeast.com/transgend ... tudy-finds (the study itself is here, but it's behind a paywall, at least for me: https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanc ... 1/fulltext).

Oof, I hear you on those scheduling struggles. Out where I am, it's hard to get any kind of an appointment at a time of day that's actually convenient. Since this isn't super-urgent, I think it's okay to decide that you'll schedule it for when you both can go, even if that means waiting a little longer.

[SillyMcGoof_]

oo ok thanks!!!!

and yeah we’ll definitely have to discuss it and stuff, and hopefully we’ll figure out what time is best to go.

i guess im still having some difficulty figuring out how to bring it up to her and how to word it and stuff. im kinda worried that she’ll be like “thats not necessary bc its to early” or something or refuse to take me bc we already have so many appointments and stuff

[Sam W]

What if you framed it as being important to you and that's why you're asking (I know that may feel obvious, but I think sometimes adults are a little too quick to assume young people just ask for stuff without thinking about it)? Too, if she says something about it being "too early," you could point out that you're not at the point of making the decision yet; you're still in the stage of getting information, and part of why you want this appointment is so you can make an informed decision when the time comes to do so.