Travelling to lgbt+ hostile countries

[Andy]

Hi, I hope everyone is doing okay!
My life has been quite chaotic lately because on top of everything I was chosen to represent my country in an international science olympiad. I didn't want to go at first because of a lot of reasons, but other people persuade me (mostly because I'm the first girl to go there in many years lol). I just hate the whole event because it seems to me just like the whole world spending money and making a big show out of it just to show off how clever their students are. But why I'm talking about it here is because it takes place in two lgbt+ hostile countries where being gay is basically illegal and there can be severe punishments for many related things. I haven't had time to do more research but it seems like the the punishments can go up to death penalties and tourist are sometimes charged too but on the other hand, there have been very little cases in the past years.
But I have little information overall and no experience with similar cultures and countries so this might not all be true.
Anyway, one problem for me is that it just doesn't feel right to travel to and consequently support countries with so many human rights issues but that's something I just have to get over as I already agreed on going there.
But I'm also a little worried about causing some problems. I think it's very unlikely someone would find out I'm not straight and even that shouldn't be a problem by itself. Overall I don't think it's likely I'll get into any trouble with the law. But what I'm a little worried about is how might people on the street react. For example, quite often people think I'm a boy because of my hair and clothes. And while being seen as a boy in a spaces for women means just getting an raised eyebrow or an occasional hateful remark here, I'm not sure what that could result in such a different culture. And overall I just don't know what to expect and if I'm right to worry or not.
So I would like to ask if there's someone who has experience travelling or living in UAE, Oman or other similar cultures. Do my worries make sense or is it just prejudice? Is there something else I should know about regarding that?

[Sofi]

Hi Theansweris42, it's nice hearing from you! Congrats on the invite, it sounds like you're really a role model and that's awesome. Unfortunately you're right, traveling while Queer can be scary and sometimes risky. I don't have experience traveling to either of those countries or any similar, but I can help you find accounts of it online if you'd like. Also, is there anyone going on/organizing the trip that you feel comfortable talking to and expressing these concerns to?

[Andy]

It's nice hearing from you too! And thank you for the reply.
There's is an amazing delegation both planning and going there out of which at least one person is a little familiar with one of these countries but I don't have the guts to ask him about it...
Come to think about it, he knows how I look so if being mistaken for a boy was a huge problem I guess he would have already told me.
And if you have time and are willing to do some online searching for other people's experiences, that would be very much appreciated! Unfortunately, I don't have much free time or access to social media so I can't do a lot of it myself.

[Sam W]

Hi Theansweris42,

I would definitely try raising these concerns with the organizers; a big part of being the people putting trips like this together is safety, and that includes things like making sure the people in your group are at minimal risk due to their identity. Do you want to talk about how you could bring this concern to them?

In terms of other peoples experiences, here are a few from resources or people who have traveled to the UAE while queer and what they recommend in terms of safety considerations: https://nomadicboys.com/is-abu-dhabi-sa ... ravellers/, https://garconofficial.com/blogs/salut- ... gay-people. This was one of the more detailed accounts of traveling while queer in Oman that I could find: https://www.sdlgbtn.com/is-oman-a-safe- ... y-couples/

I will say that, from what I'm finding, the biggest risk seems to be if you are a queer man (or perceived as one), who is caught or suspected of being involved with another man. Obviously, you don't want to bank on that in and of itself giving you protection, but it might help you get a sense of what behaviors are actually targeted.

[Andy]

Thank you!

You're right, reading those and other articles it really sounds highly unlikely for me to get into any trouble just for looking queer.
That's a huge relief, at least one less thing I have to worry about regarding this trip...

[Sam W]

I'm so glad those articles were helpful!

[Andy]

Hi! In case anyone comes across this and is curious how it was, here's a little update about how the whole thing went.

Even though I was in UAE and Oman as a competitor in a scientific olympiad so my experience was probably very different from one of a tourist but some things might still be applicable. So here are some practical things I learned:
Firstly, without VPN it's impossible to access any websites featuring lgbt+ friendly or sexual content
Secondly, there's a lot of segregation based on gender, we had separate hostels with a barbed wire between them, separated buses, some buildings are strictly only for one gender and sometimes we weren't even allowed to walk together in a hallway. They also usually use female/male instead of men/women in both speech and writing.
With all that, I can't imagine how painful the olympiad must have been for trans and gender noncomforming competitors...

Other thing that's proven important to keep in mind in order to avoid getting into trouble was refraining from any physical touch and affection, mostly between man and woman. More often than not the organisers didn't pay attention to this but there were some heated moments. And it's similar with clothing, for example, some people got away with wearing mini skirts or crop tops while others were scolded for showing as little as a centimetre of their knees..

As for being mistaken for a boy, it has happened to me a few times and it was rather awkward but overall,.there was never much fuss made about it. Paradoxically, I felt safer there than in my country in some ways. It's not uncommon to encounter insults on the street for looking queer in my country but in UAE it didn't seem like a possibility because people there pretend queer people don't exist.
Unfortunately, the feeling of theoretical safety wasn't true for other people there. Those few who had the courage to wear pride pins or other accessories were strictly and harshly told not to do so. And one boy who tried wearing mascara and crop top to a ending ceremony was even threatened to be sued for it.
So yeah, even though I feared it would be worse, the overall feeling I got from these countries is that most queer people wouldn't understandably feel comfortable and safe travelling there.

That's probably all practical info I can think of now so I would like to share some of my other personal experiences from the event because it was so amazing in some ways. Mainly because I met a great group of queer people there. I think there couldn't be a bigger paradox than the fact that for the first time I admitted out loud to someone that I'm queer was in a country where I could be imprisoned for it... But that's what happend and I still didn't get over all emotions it has brought up to me. Like there were times when I thought I'll never have the courage or chance to do so and even though it was just two weeks, experiencing how it feels to be out in an accepting environment was the best feeling ever. Overall just having a group of friends to spend time and have fun with, who accepted me, was such a profound and important experience for me (but if I were to express this importance and feelings completely, this post would be at least four times longer that it already is ).
Oh and also, I even got my first pride pin! and some of us wore them under our suits to the ending ceremony. It was a risk but one that felt extremely worth it to me. And now back at home I'm wearing the pin under clothes in my bra (so my parents won't notice) and it feels so good!
I know it probably is ridiculous that I'm so emotive about all this but honestly I don't care. Especially now when I'm back at home, missing my new friends and already seeing most of those new friendships don't have a chance to last, I'm holding onto those nice memories so much. It felt like a peek into how I imagine my ideal life could look like one day...

[Latha]

Hi there- thanks for the update, it was interesting to read!

I don't think your feelings about this are ridiculous. Admitting that you're queer to a group of people who understand and accept you- gaining that sense of community- is no small thing at all.

I'm sorry that it seems like those friendships won't last, but my fingers are crossed for you to get the kind of life you want one day. It is definitely possible.

[Andy]

Thank you!
Now it seems almost unreal that I could be so happy for two weeks and I miss it and all those friends so badly... but yeah, it also gave me a lot of hope for the future

[Heather]

I am just seeing this, and I am so, so happy you got to have this experience of community! I literally just cried with joy for a minute.

[Andy]

Thank you, that means so much to me <3
(And community and feeling accepted is what I'm always coming back here for as well)