i feel like i'm going insane

[naurmi008]

i feel like i'm going insane. every single thing my body does my brain keeps saying "it's because you're pregnant". i've had my period on time, i took 2 pregnancy tests which came out negative. yet i can't shake the fear away and it's driving me nuts

[Heather]

Hey there. Sorry you're in that spot!

We have a piece written expressly for people in the headspace you're in. Have you seen this yet?

You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You think You Are?

[naurmi008]

Hi
yes i did read that article! but i still can't shake the feeling

[Heather]

When you read the article, did any of the suggestions about why you might be feeling like this -- like being sexual when you don't really feel ready or want to, or feeling like if you did get pregnant, you'd be unsafe at home or in your community, for example -- feel particularly applicable to you?

[naurmi008]

Maybe the being sexual when I don't 100% subconsciously want to? Like I always get "carried away" and regret it so much afterwards and maybe my mind's response to stop me from doing it again is just drowning myself in fear. I'm also afraid of disappointing my parents and not having access to abortion if i ever get pregnant at this age

[Sofi]

I'm so sorry you've been in situations you didn't 100% want to go through and regret afterwards, sex should be a certain YES and not carry guilt or regret after. Has this been the case with one specific person, or with every sexual encounter?
As for your parents being disappointed, is this something they've talked about before (even if not about you specifically)? Have you ever had a conversation about sex with them?

[naurmi008]

It's always been this case with every person, and yes my parents talked about it before. They want me to be abstinent until I'm 18 and I've been trying but it just keeps happening once in a while

[Michaela]

Hi naurmi008,

Do you think you could elaborate a little bit more when you say that it just happens? How do you feel about communicating with your partner while you are having sex? Or have you talked to any of them about how you feel after?

If you’re unsure about how you feel or what are or are not comfortable with, we have some checklists and guides that can help to prompt you to better understand what you are/are not interested in. This practice can help to better understand yourself and communicate with partners if you decide that you do want to engage in partnered sex (but, that should always be a conscious choice rather than something that simply occurs). Does that sound like something you might be interested in?