Hole too small?

[jslt03]

18, F, Lesbian

Hello, I have been with my significant other for three years now, she has been the only serious relationship I have had and the only person I have been with sexually. About a year ago we started to get sexually active, and more recently we decided to implement toys into our sexual life. We lost our virginity to each other (our first time was definitely different) and she has never had intercourse with anyone else. A few days ago during our *sexy session* I noticed one thing, I can insert a dildo into her vagina, but we can’t insert it into mine. Keep in mind, we started with a 3”L and 0.75”W curved dildo (strap on), since this is a new experience for both of us. We know how important foreplay is so before getting into anything sexy we typically spend about 30 minutes to an hour of foreplay to really be aroused enough for insertion of anything, including fingers. I’ve noticed that more than one finger has also been painful for insertion for me and also that I reach climax within 15-20 minutes. We have tried lubricants, medications, and I even tried pelvic exercises to help stretch my vagina out! Nothing seems to work, not only can I not insert anything more than a finger wide, but I cannot begin to insert anything without it being painful to start with (after complete insertion of a finger its much more comfortable). When I try to insert something myself, it feels like something is blocking the entrance like a bone. Even during my annual exams my Gynecologist cannot use a speculum because I am too *tight*, but she has never told me whether or not it is something to worry about. I have even brought up this problem to her and she says that it’s possible I am not aroused enough or that I need lubricant, and I’ve tried both and even masturbation. Is this normal? Does anyone else experience this problem? Advice? Tips? Answers?

[Sofi]

Hi there, welcome to the boards!
This sounds like it's been frustrating, I'm sorry you've been dealing with pain and discomfort. Sex of any kind should not be painful, so when it is, it's a sign something else is going on. Often it is what you mentioned already - that the person is not relaxed, comfortable, and aroused enough. We have a piece about it here: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse
However I know you've been trying different things already and no luck, so although it could definitely still be this, it might be worth talking to your doctor about the possibility of vaginismus. Here's an article about it: The FBI Files: Vaginismus
Does this sound like it might be what's going on?