hi, i've been very confused lately about my boyfriend. we've been dating for a little over a year now and i don't know if i'm happy anymore.
ever since the beginning of our relationship, whenever i would cry to him about my problems, his answers were "idk how to help im sorry" so i had to get myself together to teach him how to help me. it was okay for a while but now that i really need him (esp because there's a lot of stuff happening), it hurts. it hurts not being able to rely on him. but i can see his efforts, i know he tries.
i've been questioning if maybe i'm staying with him out of pity. sometimes i think to myself "let's give him one more chance" because i know he tries his best. or maybe i haven't been able to let him go because i'm scared of change and being alone.
i have a mindset of "having a shitty relationship = better than being single" so that may also be hindering me from being able to let him go.
i've been socializing and getting closer to my friends and the things they do for me make me realize everything i needed that was absent from my relationship with my boyfriend.
i don't know if this feeling is just a "phase" or if it's time to let go.
how do i know if it's over?
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Sam W
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Re: how do i know if it's over?
Hi naurmi008,
Given what you're saying here, and what you've said in previous threads, I would listen to that voice that's telling you that it's time to end things with your boyfriend. A big part of that is because, as you're getting closer with your friends, you're noticing things that are missing from your relationship with him; that suggests that some of the pretty basic building blocks for maintaining a happy, healthy relationship either weren't there to begin with or aren't there anymore.
I think it's very sound of you to recognize that you're making the very common assumption that a bad relationship is better than being single. Do you want to talk about how to unlearn that idea along with ways of bringing your relationship with him to an end?
Given what you're saying here, and what you've said in previous threads, I would listen to that voice that's telling you that it's time to end things with your boyfriend. A big part of that is because, as you're getting closer with your friends, you're noticing things that are missing from your relationship with him; that suggests that some of the pretty basic building blocks for maintaining a happy, healthy relationship either weren't there to begin with or aren't there anymore.
I think it's very sound of you to recognize that you're making the very common assumption that a bad relationship is better than being single. Do you want to talk about how to unlearn that idea along with ways of bringing your relationship with him to an end?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.