Unmanageable Anxiety

[Merawke]

Hi, first of all thankyou for reading my message.

So the first question that i posted here is about pregnancy scared by dry humping. Knowing that dry humping has no risk of pregnancy, but every time i met my girlfriend i always thought she would get pregnant by dry humping. I dont know why this always happened every time and it always glued to my head thinking that dry humping could make her pregnant. im so sorry but im so scared right now

[Sam W]

Hi Merawke,

I'm sorry to hear this is still stressing you out. I believe you've looked at this before, but can you look at it again and tell me if any of the reasons given for why a pregnancy scare is hard to get rid of feel as if they apply to you? You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You think You Are?

Too, have you and your girlfriend continued to do things like dry humping since the time you had your initial scare? If so, one big thing you can do for yourself is to take a big step back from engaging in any sexual activity together until you feel better able to manage your anxiety.

[Merawke]

No, the last time we did it would be the last and will never do it again until the time is right. I think its my mind that keeps saying “what if the soak could swim to the v” and many other “what if”. Even though i tried to forgot it, out of nowhere it would give another “what if”. Sorry if i dont give any clear reasons

[Nadine E.]

Hi Merawke,

It's really good that you and your girlfriend decided not to do it again until the time feels right.

Following up again on Sam W's question - do you feel like any of the reasons around pregnancy anxiety outlined in this piece"You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You Think You Are?" apply to you? If so, which one?

[Merawke]

No, i dont think so and i might not understand the question well what it meant

[Nadine E.]

No worries. Just as a starting point: Have you tried reading this article: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... nk_you_are?

[Merawke]

I did, i always read it when im feeling anxious

[Nadine E.]

Okay, that's good to know. Have you found reading it helpful for you? And is there any specific part in it that feels most relevant to your experience or feelings?

[Merawke]

Its always been helping me out. but i felt guilty about it, this part “You have the idea that sex of some kind, maybe even all kinds, is something that will result in you being punished, and pregnancy is that punishment”, and “You have some kind of anxiety disorder, like OCD” this is hell inside my mind.

[Andy]

Hi, I’m glad you are finding the article helpful!

I can certainly see how these things can really make navigating all this way harder.

When it comes to shame, in case you haven’t read them yet I think you might find these articles helpful:
https://www.scarleteen.com/article/poli ... y_and_fear (in case there was a faith element to some of this)
https://www.scarleteen.com/article/poli ... xual_shame
As for the anxiety disorder, is it something you have received/are receiving professional help for?

[Merawke]

unfortunately its quite hard to get contact with professionals here and its not cheap. Thats why my reassurance that i can always do is to read scarleteens’ articles

[Sam W]

I'm sorry to hear that mental healthcare is pretty inaccessible where you are. One option when mental healthcare isn't within our reach at a certain point in time is to use resources designed to help self-manage things like anxiety or OCD. Are you up for giving some of those a try?

[Merawke]

Hi, that would be helpful for me to not stay in this hell. Its because she hasnt got her period yet but i know her cycle are irregular (longer than normal)

[Merawke]

And its making me hard to believe that dry humping can make my gf pregnant. I hope i can recover from this

[Willa]

Hi Merawke,

I am sorry to hear that this has been so difficult for you. Based on what you have written in this thread I feel as though this scarleteen article, https://www.scarleteen.com/article/etc/anxiety_lies, could be a good place to start. It discusses the struggle of knowing what you are anxious about is irrational, but being unable to break the cycle of more obsessive patterns of thinking.

Within the article is also the linked resource, https://www.anxietycanada.com/learn-abo ... in-adults/, which I think will be helpful for when you are needing to take action steps to calm yourself in the moment. Hopefully these two sources can be a good starting place for you!

[Merawke]

Hi, thankyou for providing these links. I will try to do as the links told me to do.