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Using they/them

Questions and discussions about gender, gender roles and identity.
mika.m
not a newbie
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:46 am
Age: 17
Awesomeness Quotient: No one is flawless
Primary language: Persian(Farsi)
Pronouns: He/him
Sexual identity: Bisexual, Male cis
Location: Iran

Using they/them

Unread post by mika.m »

I think it's a dump question. do you guys use "are" or "is" for they/them?

For example, is this okay to say:"They are good" or "They is good"?
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9687
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Using they/them

Unread post by Heather »

Hey, mika.

The way they is used in English as a collective and a singular noun, either of those verb tenses would be technically correct, but I'd say that it's more common to use "are" in that example than "is."
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
mika.m
not a newbie
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:46 am
Age: 17
Awesomeness Quotient: No one is flawless
Primary language: Persian(Farsi)
Pronouns: He/him
Sexual identity: Bisexual, Male cis
Location: Iran

Re: Using they/them

Unread post by mika.m »

So, in what example is more common to use are than is?
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9687
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Using they/them

Unread post by Heather »

Again, I would say "are" in the example you gave is what is more common.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
GenderGay
not a newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2024 10:12 pm
Age: 18
Primary language: English
Pronouns: They/them
Location: USA

Re: Using they/them

Unread post by GenderGay »

From a formal gramatical standpoint, “is” would be the proper word to use in theory, but un reality, we use “are” because “they is” just sounds wrong.
bluespreadsheet
not a newbie
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2022 2:34 pm
Age: 19
Awesomeness Quotient: Artistic Talent
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: aromatic asexual
Location: America

Re: Using they/them

Unread post by bluespreadsheet »

I've thought a lot about this for years. People always say "are they" and "they're" and "they visit" (when singular would be "they visits). The exception to this is that the word "themself" has slowly been being popularized.

Personally, I prefer people to refer to me as they/them singular (is they, they's, they visits) because even though it sounds weird I do it rebelliously. Like, I don't want to use neopronouns, but I still want to be annoying to people who aren't eager to accept pronouns. I'm definitely the exception, though.
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