Is the hymen suposed to make you feel good?

[Rachel 1]

I've read that the vaginal opening has nerve endings and it did seem to feel good when I rubbed the hymen or the vaginal opening. so is it supposed to be painful like is what im feeling pain or pleasure? I should of told the doctor about that if it hurts It seems to feel good but at the same what I was feeling could of been pain. The fact that rubbing the hymen could of been painful is the reason for why I never said it is pleasurable for me it just can be apart of me being selfish because the truth is fingering myself can feel nice and rubbing around the clit can feel good rubbing the nipples can feel kinda nice,
its possible rubbing the hymen feels good as well I just said that masterbating doesn't feel really good because I literally just it want it to feel really good. I can't change how my genitals feel I can't always get what I want ethier so this is why I should work on enjoying what feels good to me. I should be thankful that I actually can experience pleasure from rubbing certain parts down there especially if some women can't experience pleasure from Masterbating. Im sorry if some of the things I said made me seem like a asshole im just saying my opinion im not trying to be a asshole at all.

[Latha]

Hi Rachel 1!

Don't worry, you're not being selfish or an asshole, and it is good that you have a sense of what does feel nice. Before we discuss anything here, could I direct you back to the response I gave you yesterday in this thread? I asked some questions there, and I really think it could be helpful to discuss them.

[Rachel 1]

Yeah I did see that post and made a reply to it I did answer one question I asked a question I wanted you to answer as well that was one question about my genitals.

[Heather]

So, the hymen itself doesn't actually have any nerve endings. However, because it is tethered to/around the vaginal opening, which DOES have a whole lot of sensory nerve endings, if and when someone is touching any part of the hymen, they are necessarily engaging the vaginal opening, and it's nerves, too.

[Rachel 1]

is it normal for the nerve endings to make it feel painful at the same time? Maybe that's why it seemed painful but can feel good too. Do many people not know that the vaginal opening has nerve endings and not just the actual vagina and clitoris? Because there is post about Masterbating not being pleasurable for others on this site. I think I have brought myself to orgasm by rubbing the vaginal opening it is a sensitive area. but maybe its not for everyone other people that have trouble feeling good from masterbating should try it. Atleast i found something that does feel good for me but it isn't the first time I learned this I think I already liked rubbing that part of the valva in the past. Also I got a blood test today to see why masterbating wasn't pleasureable it just toke a long time for the docter to ask for another blood test. My last question is why do I like the orgasm If its uncomfortable or not that pleasurable for me? For example when im masterbating I want to keep having the orgasm its like I become addicted to it.

[Latha]

Hi Rachel 1!

is it normal for the nerve endings to make it feel painful at the same time?

Yes, I'd say so. I think that if you can experience pleasurable sensations in a certain place, you can also experience pain there.

Do many people not know that the vaginal opening has nerve endings and not just the actual vagina and clitoris?

I can't say for sure what other people do and don't know... but I think people might understand that we have sensory nerves anywhere we can feel the sensation of being touched.

why do I like the orgasm If its uncomfortable or not that pleasurable for me? For example when im masterbating I want to keep having the orgasm its like I become addicted to it.

That's an interesting question... you say that orgasms are uncomfortable for you- is there anything about them that you like? Sometimes experiences are not completely bad, or completely good. Maybe there is an enjoyable aspect to orgasming that causes you to like it.

For the record, I will mention that if you like something that feels good to you, that doesn't necessarily mean that you are becoming addicted to it.

[Rachel 1]

the brain definitely realesed dopamine of why I like it especially if I notice there's times I get tingles in my abdomen or it just feels pleasant on genitals I think its only the contractions that makes it not pleasant. I don't know if I'll ever have a orgasm just from fingering even if im rubbing the g spot or thinking about whatever turns me on i read some women has said they finally were able to orgasm from penetration. its just so hard for me especially if im trying hard to not be desperate for the orgasm it takes so much patience it seems more better then blended orgasms because its been described as pleasure through the body hopefully one day I can have one. And I was wrong about orgasms being the same they can be different every day for the amount of time it happens or how it feels I think I just said the orgasms were the same for the fact that I experience contractions or breathing a certain way.

[Latha]

Hi Rachel 1,

don't know if I'll ever have a orgasm just from fingering even if im rubbing the g spot or thinking about whatever turns me on

Remember that you can also stimulate the clitoris- that might help with reaching orgasm.

it seems more better then blended orgasm

Oof, I've gotten confused. What is it that seems better than blended orgasms?

im trying hard to not be desperate for the orgasm

Remember that orgasm is only one part of what can make masturbation pleasurable. Try to stay in the moment and enjoy the journey as well.

they can be different every day for the amount of time it happens or how it feels

That's correct!

[Rachel 1]

I just meant that vaginal orgasms seem better than blended orgasms Because its said to be more pleasureable. I can give myself a orgasm from clitoral stimulation and fingering myself at the same time I just wanted to experience a orgasm with rubbing the g spot and not rubbing the clitoris too. Vaginal orgasms are so much more difficult for me it feels impossible but I know it could be possible. Is there any technique to try to give myself that orgasm? Is it true that its dopamine that makes me like orgasm from what i explained in the last reply?

[Latha]

Hi Rachel 1!

I just meant that vaginal orgasms seem better than blended orgasms Because its said to be more pleasureable.

Really? I wonder, who said that? Are you sure that is true for everyone?

There are a lot of people in the world, and their experiences can be really diverse and different. Instead of making what other people think is pleasurable into a goal for yourself, you should explore what feels good for you on your own terms. If vaginal orgasms are much more difficult for you, don't push yourself to have them. Instead, use what already makes you feel pleasure as a guide.

Is it true that its dopamine that makes me like orgasm from what i explained in the last reply?

Dopamine is a chemical that is involved, but the way in which we feel pleasure is influenced by other chemicals, systems, and processes as well.

[Rachel 1]

Latha I think I gave myself a orgasm without clitoral stimulation and fingering myself but i just wish it felt more better. I just remember it got to a point where I was breathing a certain way and got this feeling on my genitals that can be contractions there was this feeling as well that was above my pubes when I tried giving myself a orgasm the second time my genitals felt good after. i think my clit was really sensitive after but i notice when I stimulate the g spot it makes my clit sensitive anyway so its probably normal I had to finger myself really fast and hard with my fingers and using my mind to turn me on as well which is what made me experience what can be a orgasm. I could of been me doing it on purpose before the orgasm I was kinda like shaking or having some type of feeling it could of just been my imagination but I'm not saying it was convulsions it was different like some type of reaction to the orgasm I don't think my legs shake too. so going slow and gentle didn't work for me plus I can rub the g spot better with one finger ive both read and heard in a video that vaginal orgasms were like a full body experiences which is why I believed that I definitely know its not true now. Also happy new years.

[Latha]

Hi again Rachel!

i just wish it felt more better

Wanting to feel more pleasure from masturbation is not a bad goal- it can keep things fun by motivating you to experiment and try new things. But your expectations should not put pressure on you and shouldn't make masturbation less enjoyable. If you experience strong orgasms that you like without clitoral stimulation, that is great, but you shouldn't push your body to meet unrealistic expectations.

when I stimulate the g spot it makes my clit sensitive anyway

It is so interesting that you would mention that, because the G spot is actually a portion of the internal clitoris and the urinary system. So, when you stimulate the G spot to gain a vaginal orgasm, you are really stimulating the clitoris. I think the might demonstrate why it is not useful to categorize orgasms based on body parts- to think of having vaginal orgasms or clitoral orgasms. You can't properly separate the two. If you'd like, you can read more about that here.

I was kinda like shaking or having some type of feeling

Don't worry, feeling like you're shaking a bit isn't an unusual experience while having sex.

It seems like you're figuring out what ways of masturbation feel pleasurable- congratulations!

Also happy new years

Aw, happy new year to you too!

[Rachel 1]

I think a day a go was the first time i ever had a g spot orgasm i dont think I had one in the past it feels special for me its cool it happened on new years it something I definitely would want to remember. i noticed the g spot orgasm wasn't as strong it could last a long time I guess it can feel nice after its over and its more of a slower buildup. the orgasm from clitoral stimulation is more easier and seems more intense for me so there both different even if I have contractions the only orgasm I haven't had yet was anal orgasms. There's times I didn't even like having my fingers in the vaginal canal it did feel nice but something about it bothers me in a way knowing my fingers are inside me or it can just be how it feels as well the vaginal canel feels different im lieing down or standing for me. And what exactly did you mean by unrealistic expectations? And is it normal for your clitoris to feel sensitive even when the g spot is stimulated?

[Sam W]

Hi Rachel,

I think what Latha is getting at with the mention of unrealistic expectations is that pattern we've talked about before, where you read or hear someone describe orgasm as feeling a certain way, or happening from a certain kind of stimulation, in a way that makes it sound as if that experience is universal. As we've talked about several times on the boards, and as you're kind of discovering on your own, our experiences of orgasm and masturbation are SUPER varied, not only from person to person but for a given person from instance to instance. So if you choose to continue experimenting with masturbation, going in with that idea--that this could feel any number of ways for you--is going to be a more realistic expectation than going into it assuming it will feel a certain way or have a certain outcome.

To give you an example of what I mean, you mention that you haven't experienced "anal orgasm" yet. Realistically, if you don't have a prostate, orgasm from anal stimulation alone is extremely unlikely, and it's not as if it's a guaranteed thing for those who do have one. So if you were to decide to experiment with anal masturbation of some kind, going in with the expectation that it would lead to orgasm is setting yourself up to feel disappointed and frustrated in a way going at it with no expectations would not. Does that make sense?

Yes, it is possible for the clitoris to feel sensitive when it's not being directly stimulated. As Latha pointed out, our current understanding is that the clitoris and g-spot are part of the same structure, so stimulating the g-spot is stimulating the clitoris.

I want to mention that a pattern I've noticed in your questions to us is both wanting to know why other people describe their experiences of masturbation, orgasm, or pleasure in a certain way, and if the way your own body reacts or looks is "normal." As we've mentioned before, there is no "normal" when it comes to human sexuality and sexual experiences, and focusing on our own experiences rather than trying to see how they stack up compared to others experiences tends to make for a more enjoyable time. So I think it's worth asking yourself why you keep returning to those questions or worries, rather than on focusing on learning about and getting comfortable with your body and sexual responses as they are.

[Rachel 1]

I generally need ocd pills I just feel anxious I can feel it in my chest I keep feeling the need to wash my hands way more than once it could also be because I want to make sure my hands are clean enough to dry them with the towel. and the soap is going to be gone eventually if I keep doing this its just I keep having intrusive thoughts everyday thats about puke or can be that what im using isn't real soap but its probably always wrong because I haven't thrown up in months and im always cleaning my hands if im standing over that sink. Plus I need to try to be okay with using my other hand they probably are clean especially if I don't want to pick my nose or put toilet water on them so they can't be that dirty. I did ask my mom if I can get pills for my ocd from the docter hopefully that will happen I just want to cry right now I just want these intrusive thoughts to stop as well. How do I convince myself to wash my hands once? And why is it some women can have a anal orgasm? I think thats why I thought its possible to have a orgasm from anal penetration.

[Latha]

Hi Rachel

Oh, that sounds like such a struggle, I'm sorry you have to deal with this! Sometimes it can be difficult to get our minds to cooperate with us on our own- asking for professional help, and trying medication are great ideas in this situation. Good luck, I hope you will get the support you need soon.

So I think it's worth asking yourself why you keep returning to those questions or worries, rather than on focusing on learning about and getting comfortable with your body and sexual responses as they are.

When you feel up to it, would you tell us what you think of the rest of Sam's response, particularly this bit?

[Rachel 1]

You told me to reply back to this post on this other post about orgasms and I just want to keep knowing certain things thats why I keep replying back. and I just don't want to have to try to explore what feels good I generally want to masterbate to the point of orgasm apart of it can be not liking change because im autistic. I already know what is pleasureable for me that can be the vaginal opening rubbing the thighs or nipples can feel kinda good too And I like the vaginal orgasm as well but I just to rub the clitoris at the same time. Also I don't think I can see a docter I have to wait until he's there which can be next week so in the meantime do you have any advice in how to wash my hands once? It really isn't good for my skin to be washing them to the point to where they are that dry we only have one bottle of soap in the downstairs washroom. I want to start using both hands to hold things today because I don't want this to happen forever especially if ocd pills doesn't help with everything.

[Sam W]

Hi Rachel,

So, I think part of what's getting lost here is that a lot of the things you want to know, like your question about why some women can experience anal orgasm, go back to that answer that I already mentioned: bodies are varied in how they respond to different kinds of touch. It's okay to want to know things, but what keeps happening seems to be that you keep fixating on the details--will this clitoral stimulation feel this way, will orgasm happen from this specific activity--rather than on internalizing the information we've given you about how every body is going to react differently to things, and the only way to know how our bodies react to something is to try it.

Too, that desire not to have to explore to find out what feels good goes back to what I said about expectation management: it's really, really unrealistic to assume that we can just know what kinds of masturbation will feel good to us without ever trying them, or to assume that we can know what will feel good to us based on what we see in porn or read online. If you have things that feel good to you, that's great! But if you don't, then the only way to find them is to try things out.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having to wait longer to see someone about managing your OCD. We're not really in a position to advise on the handwashing stuff, because offering mental healthcare is outside of what we do. You may be able to find some useful information here on self-managing obsessive and compulsive behaviors: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-sup ... e-for-ocd/

[Rachel 1]

I just wanted to let you know I talked to my mother about getting pills for me and I think she said the docter won't be at the hospital today I have to find out when we can go to the docters. Its okay I just need to get used to washing my hands less its not only with puke like I worry about snot or urine at times or it can be something i don't want going on something else. I should know if it actually happened and im always unsure about it I just need to try to get my intrusive thoughts to not bother me as best as I can and I have to wear this retainer and I don't even want to wear it untill I clean it tomorrow. I honestly need that release after feeling pleasure its not only because I like the orgasm of why I want to experience a orgasm. I was just being honest I was just worried about what sam replied with from what I said about Masterbating so I haven't read the post yet it can be apart of my social anxiety. I have an idea can I just explore what feels good while masterbating than give myself a orgasm after?

[Sam W]

I'm glad you're talking with your mom about getting care for your OCD sooner rather than later.

And yes, if you want to explore what feels good during masturbation, then switch to something you know tends to result in orgasm, that's for sure something you can do. As we've mentioned before, people masturbate in all sorts of different ways, and the way to approach it is up to each individual to decide based on what their bodies respond to.

[Rachel 1]

I want to stop Hand washing whenever I feel the urge to or ignore the intrusive thoughts because There is a therapy called exposure response prevention which just lets the thought stay in your mind without doing the compulsion which makes those intrusive go away and im actually going to use my hands to open a doorknob i used my wrist to open a doorknob all those times I never want to open it with my hands i want to stop feeling anxious.