idk if i’m ace or if it’s my medicine

[itzxnikki]

so im 18 and i’ve been on medication for my adhd since i was 6 and anxiety since i was like 10. ive been in SO MANY different medications through the years but i never really felt horny i would say? i recently found out that it’s most likely my medication currently. most likely it being my mood stabilizers or anxiety medication. i’m with my first bf and things have been amazing but all we’ve done is made out and i get wet but i never go further, which is fine with me and that respect that. i’ve never really been sexually attracted to anyone. even my bf rn i’m not really. thankfully they’re just amazing and don’t push anything and just understand that i can’t really control it. i have tried to touch myself before but it just didn’t do anything. i also have no desire to watch porn and quite frankly it makes me uncomfortable. i do struggle a lot with self imagine also. i’ve always thought i was just asexual because i never felt any sexual desire for ANYTHING.any tips ig?

[Latha]

Hi there, Itzxnikki- welcome to the boards!

i recently found out that it’s most likely my medication currently. most likely it being my mood stabilizers or anxiety medication.

Just to clarify, did you learn that your medications are impacting your ability to feel arousal?

I know it isn't easy to disentangle the side effects that medications can have. But there is something in your post that stands out to me: you seem pretty comfortable with the fact that you don't experience much sexual attraction, and it doesn't seem like you have much interest in changing that.

If you don't have any problems with how you feel now, then it may not matter that your medications might be influencing some aspect of your sexuality. You can be asexual anyway. If your experience ever changes in the future, you can just reevaluate the words you use for yourself then.

How does this sound?

[itzxnikki]

thanks for welcoming me and the response!

that makes sense thank you.

i was always so confused on why i never horny of just had a low sex drive since i like 15? but in the last year, like i said, i just thought about it and its most likely because of the medicine i’m on. i asked my doctor and she said that’s a possibility and i wouldn’t be surprised. i always thought i was a late bloomer especially because i never had a relationship before this one. i just have always struggled a lot mentally and body image. since i was around 14-15 i found out what asexuality was and im like wow that’s me but since im older now it just all makes sense to me. i never understood why i didn’t feel anything like it her teenagers did. i was and still am never aroused my myself.

through the years i struggled with a lot and getting my boyfriend helped A LOT with my loneliness so it’s just a big change for me. i’ve never experimented with my body before this and even when i have, it just didn’t feel like anything when i do it myself.

i definitely get aroused when i do certain things with my boyfriend but we don’t go any further which is why im not fully aroused i would say?

and honestly like you said, i am okay with not being sexually attracted to people. it’s just difficult because i feel out of place sometimes. i also would not be surprised if anything changed.its also a possibility it’s just both my medication and also being asexual

[Ellie]

Hi itzxnikki,

There's definitely no pressure to go any farther or step outside of your comfort zone. If it happens that one day you're comfortable exploring more or experience sexual desire, then it happens! What's important is that you feel safe and fulfilled with your partner.

[Sam W]

Hi itzxnikki,

In addition to what Ellie said, I'm curious about those moments when you feel out of place. Would you say they're tied to our bigger cultural messages about sex or to things like acephobia? Or is it more that they come from specific interactions you have with people in your own life?

[itzxnikki]

hey sam!

what ellie said was true also and helpful, thanks ellie i do feel safe with my boyfriend they’re amazing


honestly it’s more with my older friends i had where i felt out of place. my friends from freshman year to mid senior year. one of them was in a relationship and sometimes talked about it and it kinda just felt odd for me? it wasn’t acephobia for sure it’s definitely from the “sex culture”. i wasn’t in a relationship at the time so that also effected me. we were teenagers and ofc when i heard about these things id just confuse myself. we also aren’t friends anymore due to a conflict that happened so it doesn’t really matter to me anymore.

i’m with a different friend group right now and they don’t really do that because they aren’t in relationships so i don’t have to worry about that. we all have boundaries and we stick with them.

i don’t currently feel out of place but im saying in past experiences i have at least

[Latha]

Hi Itzxnikki!

I'm glad that you're comfortable with your current friend group. Just as a small reminder, if you ever have friends who discuss topics that make you uncomfortable, you have the option of telling them that you would prefer not to hear about such things.