Can’t Finish While Masterbatig

[starling1010]

17F Here and I’m a bit new to hands on masturbation. To satisfy myself I usually squeeze my legs together but lately I’ve been wanting to try clitoral stimulation out. I don’t like fingering but so I wanted to try this method out.

I’ve been rubbing around and on my clit but the sensation is faint. It feels good but isn’t super strong. I even incorporate nipple play. Although I do get wet,I still can’t reach climax or even finish at all. Any tips? I want to be able to satisfy myself in other ways besides squeezing my legs together.

[Sam W]

Hi starling1010,

In your previous thread here, we talked about ways to approach and think about masturbation, including the fact that if a particular way of doing so doesn't feel good, there's not a need to keep incorporating it. Have you been able to put any of the advice we offered in that thread into practice?

[starling1010]

Yes, I’ve been trying to practice the advice I was given in my last thread. I’ve been experimenting more with hands on masturbation rather than legs only because I have an ACL reconstruction surgery coming up in a few days and I know the method of maturation where I squeeze my legs together won’t be able to be execute because I have to prop my leg against a wall in a bent position (kind of hard to explain). But I’ve been trying to prepare myself for this surgery by practicing other ways I could mastúrbate.

I do get wet and turned on from rubbing my clit but it’s not as intense as my leg squeezing method and it seems like i can’t finish. It just gets me in the mood. I usually like to masturbate when I’m in the mood or if I’m having a hard time going to sleep. Any thoughts.

[Latha]

Hi there, Starling1010

Hmm, I will say that it isn't at all unusual to switch between different methods of masturbation or kinds of stimulation in one session. Some variety can be useful in this situation.

If I may ask, what is your mental state like when you masturbate- are you very focused, or do you become bored/distracted? Also, have you tried incorporating fantasies into your sessions, or touching yourself in other erogenous places?

Good luck with the surgery- I hope the recovery will be as simple and quick as possible.

[starling1010]

Hello, sorry for the late reply, Im three days out of surgery. It’s pretty bearable.

When masturbating Im rarely ever bored. Im usually really into it and focus. Even when I watch porn I often fantasize while watching and explore other parts of my body.

I tried to masturbate yesterday without any videos and without my usual method of squeezing my legs together, and it was much better (intensity wise). I didn’t finish though, and Im not sure if my usual method is just THAT good where now I think that it’s the norm, or if Im just not finishing when I don’t squeeze my legs together. (Hopefully that made sense)

I guess what Im wondering is, how do I know when I’ve finished?

When I squeeze my legs together I feel myself reaching an ending, not a climax. Almost like when you read a book and you can tell the story is about to end. Nothing too crazy, no climax but just a fading feeling like Im running out of energy almost, it feels good. My vagina usually loses sensation for a bit.

But when I masturbate with my hands only, I don’t experience this feeling, I get wet and I feel horny but I’m not really satisfying anything. It’s almost like I’m preparing myself or preforming foreplay for something, it’s the appetizer. And there’s no ending, I just stop whenever I think I’ve had enough.

[Heather]

Feeling "finished" when it comes to sex is often just that: we know we're finished because we stop being interested or engaged with sex, whether that's alone or with partners. It seems like you do know when you feel finished, it's that feeling of being done, of like you have had enough.

Feeling satisfied and feeling finished are sometimes the same thing, but they aren't necessarily. Feeling satisfied is generally something bigger than feeling finished, that has more to do with if our sexual experiences feel fulfilling, like if they offer us what we're looking for in exploring our sexualities. Satisfaction from any kind of sex is also often not just physical and rarely just about reaching orgasm: that one tends to be multi-faceted, as emotional or psychological, for instance, as physical.