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Sexual discussion

Any questions or discussions that you ONLY want to discuss with our staff or volunteers.
(Users: please do not reply to other users here.)
Dollybeats
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2024 10:09 pm
Age: 20
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She
Location: Nigeria

Sexual discussion

Unread post by Dollybeats »

Hi am going to 20 but I cant finger myself,I have been fingered by my boyfriend but when I want to try it on myself when masturbating I just cant
So I just stick to rubbing my clitoris for pleasure till am satisfied.. please can I know why I cant finger myself even though I do feel the urge to
Latha
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 653
Joined: Sat May 22, 2021 6:13 am
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: Queer
Location: India

Re: Sexual discussion

Unread post by Latha »

Hi there, Dollybeats- welcome to the boards!

Would you tell us a bit more about what you feel when you try to finger yourself? Do you notice any pain or tightness? How is it different from when your boyfriend fingers you?
Dollybeats
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2024 10:09 pm
Age: 20
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She
Location: Nigeria

Re: Sexual discussion

Unread post by Dollybeats »

I kinda tight if I try doing it myself
It's also tight and a bit painful at first when my bf does it but later on I begin to feel the pleasure
KierC
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 263
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2024 12:10 pm
Age: 27
Awesomeness Quotient: I can and will reupholster anything
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/they
Sexual identity: Queer
Location: Chicago, IL

Re: Sexual discussion

Unread post by KierC »

Hi Dollybeats,

I want to link you to this article first: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

It’s a really great introduction to some of the experiences you’re reporting including the tightness and pain, but the section on getting ready for vaginal entry (including during masturbation) is super important here: getting ready by making sure you’re comfortable, aroused, well-lubricated, and in a comfortable position goes a long way to making vaginal entry comfortable and pleasurable whether you’re alone or with your boyfriend, so I would start there to try to alleviate some of the pain and tightness.

Here’s another resource for you to explore that gives a more general introduction:
Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation

How does all of that sound?
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