26 year old

[Chicka08]

I am a 26 year old and have never had sex. I have never had the desire for sex. Never been sexually driven at all. I went on a date last week with another girl and from there I believe I was sexually assaulted/raped. I am going through the correct processes with the police but I am struggling with not understanding what sex even is. What is women to woman sex? And what is women to women sexual assault? What kinds of things do women to women do in sex? I am asking because I genuinely have no idea what sex is besides what i have seen in movies. Sorry for asking this. Thanks.

[Sam W]

Hi Chicka08,

I want to start by saying that I'm so sorry your date chose to assault you. I feel like an important distinction here is that while sexual assault involves sexual contact, it's a very different thing from consensual sex, to the point that we, and many other people, don't consider it sex; it's assault.

In terms of consensual sex between two people, that can look any number of ways regardless of the gender involved; using mouths or hands on genitals, involving sex toys, keeping clothes on or taking them all the way off, the list is really endless. There's no single kind of sex that only women who are sexual with other women do, and no kinds of sex that women who sleep with women are unable to do.

As for what sexual assault by a woman on other woman entails, it can be anything that's unwanted, sexual contact done for the gratification of the person committing the assault (in other words, what's considered sexual assault doesn't depend on the genders of the people involved). That can mean touching the other person without their permission, not stopping when they ask, ignoring "nos," or using threats or coercion to get them to do what the person wants.

Does any of that help clarify things for you?