Safely Accessing a Sex Toy as a Minor

[CasWasHere]

I (14NB) am making a decision to buy a toy. I’ve been in a rut, and the best way to get out is to spice things up, right? So as a minor, I still live with my guardian. I have my own debit card, and they cannot see what I buy, only the site or app I buy it on. For example, “$10 purchase at Apple”. What Im worried about is someone opening my package while Im at school and seeing it’s a toy. Im not sure how exactly I should prevent this. My guardian is pretty strict about romance and sex, it’s like…forbidden. Even just having a crush and admitting to that is bad. They’ll be like “You need to focus on school” when they literally met their ex spouse and dated said ex spouse in highschool. I just don’t want to get in trouble. Any advice would he helpful, thanks !

[CaitlinEve]

Hi CasWasHere!

That's a valid concern! Does your guardian often open your mail? You could tell your guardian that you have a package coming and say that it's something mundane that they'd be less likely to care about opening, such as a pencil pouch or a new shirt. But if you do this don't make it something they may want to see, like a cool stuffed animal!

Alternatively, if you have friends you trust (with guardians that wouldn't open it either!), you could use their address for shipping. Most* (*but not all) sex toy companies ship discreetly, but make sure that you check to see for the business you're looking at. It may also be possible to make the package something they need your signature for, so you could schedule it specifically for a time you know you'll be home.

[CasWasHere]

Im planning on ordering from EdensFantasy. I never really use my money to order packages, but when I do, I usually go get them or my guardian gets it and gives it to me. They don’t usually open my stuff, but Im not sure about the others in the house. I was probably act like it’s something mundane as you said, but I am worried that they will want to see what it is. For example, if I say Im getting a shirt, they’ll be like ‘Oh, can I see?’. I’ll say it’s something super unimportant, like a notebook.

Or alternatively, I could just not tell them anything. I could just say Im ordering something, and not explain further. Thanks for your help and input!

[StephR]

Hi Cas,

I would not recommend ordering from EdenFantasys. They have a history of mistreating their affiliates, sending indiscreet mail to customers, and I've even heard rumors about them selling used sex toys. They have an F on their Better Business Bureau page.

[Edit: we can't really recommend specific stores if you're a minor, since they're sites are 18+]

[CasWasHere]

I was worried about that, I read some stuff about them including giftcards with the customers full name and making it clear what the site was on their packages. Happy I read this otherwise I would’ve went through with the purchase. It was mainly because they had a deal, only 19.99, about 29 including batteries, delivery fee and tax, and only 24 with a promo code. Very saddening, I am quite broke and here I was doing chores galore to earn money. I have only gathered 31 dollars. I suppose I will look elsewhere and provide updates. My first choice was Adam & Eve but they are not cheap, at all. Probably because it’s high quality, but still . Thanks again.

[KierC]

Hey there CasWasHere,

While we cannot recommend any sex toy stores to minors as they are adult sites, we can definitely talk about how to go forward here with finding toys in a way that’s discreet given your guardian’s thoughts about things like intimacy and romance.

First, if you do end up making an online purchase (of any kind!), checking online for their privacy policies, and cross-referencing that with things like external reviews and the Better Business Bureau is a good general practice before making online purchases. Not only does doing this protect your identity online, but it’ll prevent a possibly sticky situation at home.

I’ll say too, I’m not sure if this has been sent your way yet but we do have a resource on DIY sex toys, if that’s something you’re interested in. It may be a bit more accessible for you at least for the time being, or at least safer in terms of privacy. DIY Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition How does that sound?