Been in a relationship with an asexual partner, just now realizing that I may want sex in the future.

[caramia]

They have already established that they will only go as far as making out, and even though we haven't even gotten to that, I realize that I do want a sexual relationship at some point.

How do I approach this topic? I really don't want to break up or anything like that but I also will NOT consider overstepping their boundaries.

[CaitlinEve]

Hi caramia, welcome to Scarleteen!

Ace and allo people can be and are in relationships. What’s important, as you mentioned, is that you tell your partner about your feelings so you can both be on the same page. Obviously, overstepping their boundaries is a big NO! But being open and clear with your communication, as well as being direct instead of dancing around the subject out of anxiety, will help a lot in the long run.

I would also recommend making it clear from the beginning that you aren’t looking to overstep their boundaries or break up, as this type of talk with ‘allo’ partners as an ace individual can be nerve-wracking. You could take some time to think about what you’d like to say; ie. if you’re asking for more physical touch or exploration, or if you’d want to talk about opening up your relationship. This is solely up to you and your partner, and what would work best for you both!