Dont know if it is assault or not.
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This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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Dont know if it is assault or not.
So someone in my life, has made a habit of putting his hands on my legs, whenever possible. The majority of the time, I either move away, or remove his hands, but usually after 5-10 minutes, he moves them back.
It makes me really uncomfortable, and I'd tell him to stop, but I'm scared, because he's way stronger than me and could seriously hurt me.
The thing is, He seems to really respect consent with other people, which makes me wonder if maybe I'm just crazy.
But I already told him once to stop, and he laughed it off and didn't.
There's other ways he touches me that I don't like, but usually the thighs is the worst part.
It makes me really uncomfortable, and I'd tell him to stop, but I'm scared, because he's way stronger than me and could seriously hurt me.
The thing is, He seems to really respect consent with other people, which makes me wonder if maybe I'm just crazy.
But I already told him once to stop, and he laughed it off and didn't.
There's other ways he touches me that I don't like, but usually the thighs is the worst part.
“I'm not good, but I was worse.”
"Keep in mind that people change, but the past doesn't."
― Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush
"Keep in mind that people change, but the past doesn't."
― Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush
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Re: Dont know if it is assault or not.
Hi Foreverl0st,
You are not crazy. You have a very reasonable boundary that this person isn't listening to. Moving away or removing someone's hands is often a good enough sign on its own. Beyond that, you actually told him to stop and he just laughed it off. This just isn't okay. Expecting people to be consistent is usually a helpful rule of thumb — if someone treats other people well, it is fair to expect that they will do the same with you. But that doesn't mean you should ignore your own experiences. Regardless of how he treats other people, this person doesn't respect your consent.
Would you feel comfortable telling us a little more about this situation? We may be able to brainstorm some ways to get it to stop. When/where do you meet this person? What role do they play in your life?
You are not crazy. You have a very reasonable boundary that this person isn't listening to. Moving away or removing someone's hands is often a good enough sign on its own. Beyond that, you actually told him to stop and he just laughed it off. This just isn't okay. Expecting people to be consistent is usually a helpful rule of thumb — if someone treats other people well, it is fair to expect that they will do the same with you. But that doesn't mean you should ignore your own experiences. Regardless of how he treats other people, this person doesn't respect your consent.
Would you feel comfortable telling us a little more about this situation? We may be able to brainstorm some ways to get it to stop. When/where do you meet this person? What role do they play in your life?
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 26
- Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2024 8:56 pm
- Age: 15
- Awesomeness Quotient: I can put both my feet behind my head.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Location: Somewhere
Re: Dont know if it is assault or not.
He's my father, so, since I'm homeschooled and he works from home, we're near each other essentially 24-7.
It's just so off-putting because I know he respects everyone else's boundaries.
It's just so off-putting because I know he respects everyone else's boundaries.
“I'm not good, but I was worse.”
"Keep in mind that people change, but the past doesn't."
― Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush
"Keep in mind that people change, but the past doesn't."
― Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush
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