Dont know if it is assault or not.

[KierC]

That sounds like a good idea! I think, too, places that don’t get touched often (like a vase, the bottom of a pencil cup, or behind a bookshelf) may be good places to consider. A savings account is a good idea, too, if you are able to confirm when you go to the bank what their privacy or user policies are regarding parents accessing the account.

[Foreverl0st]

My parents can check the funds, and take money out, but currently its my best option.
Yeah, I have a jar of rocks that I can hide small things in the bottom of.

[Andy]

Hi there,

I hope it’s okay that I’m stepping into the conversations. I’m sorry to hear your parents have so much control over your money. Do you think your money will be safe in the account at the moment?

Jar of rocks sounds like a good idea! I also used to keep things I needed to hide in my school bag. It wasn’t a place my parents would check regularly and I also had it with me most of the day. We can also try to brainstorm a hiding place for some specific object if you want.

I also wanted to check in with you, how are you doing? <3 Were you able to find some activities or other opportunities to get out of home at least for a while?

[Foreverl0st]

My money will probably be safe, and even if not, it's still the best option. I can get to it and use it if I need to. So if, say, I needed to run away, I could get to a nearby ATM and drain it, and use the cash for anything I need.

Mostly its just hiding stuff in general, though I also was wondering if you had any possible ideas of ways I could get items my parents wouldn't allow, since they go through all packages.

I'm... Doing okay. I have a few church events that get me out of the house. Its a very homo and trans phobic environment, but I'm not in any physical danger.

Also, you stepping into the conversation is no problem at all, I don't mind.

[KierC]

I’m so glad Andy could help! I’m glad to hear, too, that you’d be able to access your money if you needed to leave quickly.

It may be tricky to get mail sent to you without your parents seeing it if it’s sent to your house. But I just looked it up, and you are old enough to pick up packages at the post office if you have an ID with your name and address on it. Do you have access to your ID, and are you able to get to a post office? You may be able to get packages delivered straight to the post office and pick them up there. Another idea I have is if you put a note on the delivery instructions to not ring the doorbell but place the package in a safe location where your parents wouldn’t expect a package, and just say it’s for anti-theft, but that may be better for lower risk items in case they don’t follow the instructions.

I’m glad to hear that you’re hanging in there, and that you don’t feel in physical danger at the church (though I’m sorry to hear that the church you go to is homophobic and transphobic. Do you feel safe there in general?)

[Foreverl0st]

Sadly, I don't have access to an ID, nor would I be able to get to a post office.
I could try using delivery instructions to tell them to put it in a large bush we have in front of our house, but since my parents are almost always home, that might be risky if theyre actively expecting a package. Otherwise, they might believe it was one of my neighbors. Sadly, all packages would be high-risk, since I'm not supposed to buy stuff online.

I don't feel the safest at church, but its better than being at home.

[KierC]

Hey Foreverlost,

Agh, I’m sorry to hear that the packages are nonviable right now. I agree, if they’re always home they may see the truck roll up.

I’m glad you can go somewhere that’s better than home. I can imagine how frustrating it must be to have limited options right now, but you’re doing your a great job navigating these options and keeping yourself safe. Sometimes the only options available besides involving CPS again are not so ideal, but I’m glad you can be at church where you’re at least physically safer than at home.

[Foreverl0st]

Yeah.
Hopefully I can get an easier way to get things. Currently, I just try to convince my parents to let me go shopping with them, and then I sneak off and buy what I need in cash.

[Andy]

That’s good to hear you have at least some what to get what you need.

Even if getting away may seem not worth the risk right now (but if the situation or your preferences changes we can help you get connected with the CPS or other services), what used to really help me was exploring the options I might have once I move out. That might be researching things like finances, places to live, education, job offers or even the things I wanted to buy but couldn’t at the time. Sure, you probably won’t use most of this research but even being able to escape from the reality when it’s harsh and knowing what options and opportunities you will have once you have more freedom, can go a really long way to feeling better!

[Foreverl0st]

Yeah. It really helps looking at houses, apartments, job offers, clothes, furniture, stuff like that, that I'm not allowed now, but would want and might buy when I'm an adult.

[Latha]

I'm glad that helps, Foreverl0st — feel free to ask us if you need any more help!