Confused?

[Claire2swaggg]

Hi again! This morning I woke up and threw up.. I am sick and my mom said it was mucus that drains into your stomach causing an upset stomach, but I’m scared because I think I could be pregnant, it as I’ve read on some of the posts on here that precum can’t go through clothes, and that I should be fine? I also had a lot of clear discharge mixed with some white and the smallest bit of red, I am just very concerned! Also I read that when you’re pregnant you don’t ovulate, and I believe I’m ovulating right now?
But please, help me understand, thank you

[CaitlinEve]

Hi Claire,

From what you've described, you can't be pregnant as you did not have direct genital contact/penetration with ejaculation. Discharge is a normal part of your body's process and also doesn't indicate that you are pregnant, so don't worry!

Additionally, your mom is right; post-nasal drip (mucus drainage) can make you sick so that sounds like the most likely explanation.

[Claire2swaggg]

So I’m just basically freaking out for no reason and should be totally fine?

[CaitlinEve]

You'll be okay! I hope you feel better, though; throwing up is no fun, no matter the reason.

P.S: I wouldn't say you're freaking out for no reason; anxiety is a valid reason to be nervous/freaking out even if your mind can lie to you! That being said; your anxiety over being pregnant is not necessary, as you can't be as a result of the activity you described!

[Claire2swaggg]

Thank you! I already feel way better, I just look at everything little detail of what happens to my body when I’m worried, it’s just like you’re life could be over so fast, especially when you’re an athlete!
But thank you sooo much! I hope you’re right!

[HannahP]

Glad to hear you're feeling better, Claire! Just in case you need it in the future, I thought I'd offer you this article that can help with anxiety over pregnancy symptoms: Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul. Sounds like you've got it under control this time, though!

[Claire2swaggg]

Thank you! Ehh I sorta do, I was fine until just now, it’s like everything is somehow a pregnancy symptom, I’m about to ovulate (I took and
Ovulation test!) but anyways, it’s been 12 days since my little incident and well I just had some watery brown blood come out of me, and me being me I looked it up and it said “early sign of pregnancy”
There is literally just no way.
But please educate me on what this watery brown blood may be? Thank you!

[KierC]

Hey there Claire,

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling anxious about this again, I know it’s such a crappy feeling when you’re anxious and the internet gives you more info to be anxious about. It can be so hard not to google your symptoms when you’re feeling this way, but do know that some sources give more generalized advice which might do more work to increase anxiety. For example, the internet is technically not wrong to say that brownish discharge is an early sign of pregnancy … but it’s also a sign that your period just started, or that you’re spotting; and given that the activity you described doesn’t pose a risk to pregnancy, you can be sure the watery brown discharge is unrelated to pregnancy.

The watery brown discharge you’re seeing is likely discharge mixed with blood that’s been oxidized. When blood is exposed to the air for longer (like when your period flow is lighter and the blood flows slower, which can happen at the beginning and end of your period), the oxidization that occurs makes the blood look brown. So, you can bet this is either normal spotting, or the beginning of your period.

How does knowing that make you feel regarding pregnancy fears?

[Claire2swaggg]

It makes me feel better knowing that! Thank you, it’s just always that “what if” feeling, I hate it, I’m 16 days out from my period, so I’m assuming it’s just ovulation spotting, I know I’m probably okay, but it’s just the fact of “what if I’m actually pregnant” it’s a very hard thing to think about, especially when I haven’t even had sex!

[KierC]

I’m glad that helped you feel a bit better! I totally hear you on the “what if I am actually pregnant” feeling — it sounds like the thought of pregnancy brings up some scary thoughts and feelings. Do you want to talk about what thoughts or concerns come up when you have pregnancy fears?

When you’re feeling really anxious about the risk of pregnancy, it is completely okay to take time away from sexual activities if they trigger pregnancy anxiety. It might help, too, to explore birth control options if that is something you’d like to do at any point going forward; doing some active risk-management can certainly help ease pregnancy anxieties. Is that something you’d like to explore?

[Claire2swaggg]

It absolutely does, I am committed to play softball in college, and the thought of losing everything seriously scares me.
I know I didn’t have sex, and that there probably isn’t any way for me to get pregnant in this scenario, but I can definitely take a step back from sexual things.
Anyways continuing, when I start overthinking about something it doesn’t stop until like my period starts, I’ve just always been an extreme overthinker? I don’t know how to make it go away, you and multiple other people have said I should be totally fine, but I still can’t fully understand how, it’s just like I need constant reassurance, and when I get it I’m fine, but then my body does something strange again and I freak out, like I’m doing now:(

[KierC]

Thank you for providing those details! It sounds like you have plans for your future and that you can’t risk pregnancy right now. Remember that you have control over the future you’re building, and that includes control of your body. If you don’t want to become pregnant, there are steps you can take and rely on, like birth control as I mentioned before; and if pregnancy is truly something you cannot risk for any reason, you can also choose not to engage in activities that post a risk. All in all, it may help to remember that you are in control of what happens to your body, and you can take steps to ensure that.

I hear you, though, that you’ve been struggling with anxiety more often, and that you feel the need to seek reassurance with anxiety. In times when you’re feeling particularly anxious, do you have any strategies you use to calm yourself? If not, would you like to talk about creating some strategies to use? A professional counselor or some form of mental health support can also be a great step towards feeling more in control, and talking through some of the deeper sources of anxiety. Is that something you’d be interested in exploring?

[Claire2swaggg]

I have before, I usually just talk to my friends! My mom also won’t let me get on birth control because it’s “not biblically right” so thats unfortunately out of the question.. but you think I’m fine right? Like there shouldn’t be a child growing inside me as we speak? Or should I say.. type

[Heather]

Hey there, Claire.

The team here has already answered your questions about your (non) risk of pregnancy. We know from many years of this work that telling someone the same thing over and over only helps people STAY in an anxiety loop, not to mention that it's simply not a good use of our time and resources.

What we know is actually helpful to someone in your situation is to work to stop focusing on this and focus on other things, rather than continuing to stay focused on it. The only thing staying focused on this is going to do is keep you in high anxiety and stress you out: there's no benefit to you of continuing to focus on this in this way.

As well, we know that it also is often helpful for someone to simply get some more education about all of this, and then make decisions that feel best or are best for you. In your case, it sounds like stepping away from genital sex of any kind (since even the kinds that can't cause pregnancy are causing you anxiety about it) until/unless you feel differently, which may also be until/unless you can access some methods of contraception for yourself.