Showerhead

[Caleb]

I was masturbating in my bathtub and i ejaculated. I then used the showerhead to clean up the mess. While that was clean, i completely forgot to clean the handle!

Now i’m worried my partner could get pregnant, as possible remnants somehow flew from the showerhead into her vagina and got her pregnant. Thankfully, I cleaned it this time with alcohol, but I didn’t the last few times.

Do I need to be worried?

[oliver-kittycat]

hi Caleb! i hope you don't mind me replying, as i'm not a member of staff.

personally I really don't think this is a risk. the chances of this happening are very, very low. i absolutely hear your worry and concern, and i understand how hard it can be to *not* worry about something! but i really doubt that any remnants even remained, let alone got into her vagina.

i had a look at your other posts, and i will say that given your partner's periods are irregular i don't think the lack of a period and spotting is anything much to worry about. as someone with irregular periods myself, that brown spotting you described may actually have been a very light period. i had something like that a while ago after a long stretch of no periods.

you seem like a really caring and careful person, and that's great! i'm sure your partner really appreciates it. but i don't think this is anything to worry about. i hope this reply helps if even a little!

[Caleb]

My partner got her period so that’s a relief.

Could you explain why my situation poses no risk?

[oliver-kittycat]

That's great!! i'm glad to hear it

So, i'm not an expert, but I know that sperm outside the body or a condom only survives for a few minutes at most. Not only that, but hot water - if that's what you used to clean it - would kill it in seconds. Then, even if it did somehow survive and ended up on the showerhead handle, it's still really unlikely it would have gotten anywhere near your partner's vagina - if she was taking a bath, 1. the showerhead wouldn't be anywhere near her, and 2. again, the hot water would kill it and it would be hard for it to get through the water to her vagina. If she was taking a shower, the showerhead would also likely not be near her. And for the sperm to survive long enough for this, she would have to have gone into the bath almost immediately after you left, and even then you probably took some time to clean up and get out of the bath.

tl;dr it would take a long series of extremely unlikely coincidences for the sperm to even survive, and then get into her vagina somehow. does that make sense?

[Caleb]

“Very low” means it’s still possible.
Is it easy to say I screwed up?

[Latha]

Hi Caleb,

Let's go ahead and change 'very low' to 'no chance at all'. As Oliver-kittycat explained, sperm just can't survive for so long outside the body, being transferred from one surface to another. This situation poses no risk of pregnancy.

It must be so stressful to blame yourself and worry like this. As you suggested to Kier in your last thread, this might be an example of reassurance seeking. I think Kier had some useful suggestions for what to do when you feel this way. I was wondering, what did you think of them?

in times like this, though, it can sometimes be helpful to identify if there are any deeper feelings that arise when you get anxious about this. It can also be helpful to create a self-care routine when you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed — do you have things you like to do to reassure yourself or calm yourself a bit?

We can help you explore why you feel distressed about this, and we can help you develop a self-care plan, but our ability to help with anxiety beyond that is a bit limited. If I may ask, have you ever spoken to a mental health professional about your concerns? If you have, do you feel like their advice was useful?