How to approach masturbation with my parents?

[myrixx]

Hi, I’ve never previously talked to my parents about Masturbationen, and I’ve never heard how they feel about it, so Ive got no clue if they would be horrified or not if I asked for help.
For context, I would like to buy a sex toy, and one that might be somewhat disturbing to them (a horse dildo). Start to finish, how would I approach this topic? I don’t want to make my own, as many of the required materials I couldn’t get without raising attention. What’s more, I’ve put immense effort into leaving no evidence of my „activities“ which might further worsen the shock. If there’s no good way to talk to them about it, how could I buy a toy digitally without their knowledge? I know there’s a lot to unpack sorry, any help is appreciated!

[Latha]

Hi Myrixx, welcome to the boards!

To start, why not try having a more theoretical conversation with your parents about sex/masturbation? This might make the process of buying a toy a little slower, but you'll be able to manage these conversations better if you go into them knowing where your parents stand. The thought of having these conversations can feel a bit awkward and scary, but it is quite possible that your parents won't be all that surprised if they find out that you are interested in sex/masturbation — it is a pretty common development at your age.

The next step may be to consider how much you want to tell them. It isn't necessarily wrong to tell your parents specifics about, for example, the kind of sex toy that you want. Whether you do should depend on the kind of relationship you have with them and your needs around privacy. If your parents were to give you a budget and let you order the toy on your own, you would not need to share this information with them.

We often advise starting small when exploring insertive sex, and working up to bigger things to avoid injury. If I may ask, do you have a specific model/size in mind for this dildo?

[myrixx]

small. i dont want to hurt myself

[Latha]

It might also be useful to keep some lube on hand. You could order it with the toy or buy it at a local store, but there are programs in the US that provide free condoms and lube. These packages are usually distributed at sexual health centers or through the mail. Many of these programs describe having discreet packaging too, so the contents won't be obvious. If you are interested, you could search for something like — free condoms and lube in [your state].

Let us know if you have any other questions!

[myrixx]

Oh absolutely. I have some on hand

[Latha]

That's great — good luck, then!

[anne14]

For context, I would like to buy a sex toy, and one that might be somewhat disturbing to them (a horse dildo). Start to finish, how would I approach this topic? I don’t want to make my own, as many of the required materials I couldn’t get without raising attention. What’s more, I’ve put immense effort into leaving no evidence of my „activities“ which might further worsen the shock. If there’s no good way to talk to them about it, how could I buy a toy digitally without their knowledge? I know there’s a lot to unpack sorry, any help is appreciated!

I would also like to have a sex toy, I could have one if I ask an adult girl to buy it for me, but even like that it is difficult to hide it in my room, my mother searches everywhere under the pretext of cleaning my room

[KierC]

Hi Anne,

I hear you that it’s a bit difficult to hide things in your room. One idea to consider might be DIY sex toys, which are everyday household objects that can be used as sex toys, that will look normal to a passerby. We have a whole article on types of DIY sex toys, and how to use them safely: DIY Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition.

If you have more questions, or would like to talk more about your situation, feel free to make a separate thread and we’d be happy to chat with you there!