Fingering w/O an orgasm

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xyz
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Fingering w/O an orgasm

Unread post by xyz »

I'm 17yo and I've been consuming porn in different forms for a while now. It used to somewhat turn me on, but I noticed unlike most people while ovulating I'm actually less likely to get horny (?) I've tried fingering myself for the first time few days ago and a few days after that, with no satisfying results. I do get wet I managed to for 2 fingers in, but I don't find the act pleasurable. I don't lack knowledge about g-spot, clit etc. My issue is I struggle to find it by my hand and when I think I find them it doesn't feel that good and there's no tension built up that's supposed to appear while masturbating. Idk what in doing wrong or if I'm actually reaching those spots, because they do feel a little different, make my leg twitch, yet I can't achieve anything, my hand gets too tired. I also can't buy a tool to help myself with, I don't want to risk it being eventually found. I'm not sure what I did but while fingering myself literally for a piece of a second I felt my head spit, but idk how I did it and I failed to replicate this movement. I feel bad and frustrated about missing out on pleasure and I can't do much about it since I've never been intimate with another person before and I can't imagine it actually happening ever. I wish I could make myself feel good even for a little bit, but every time I tried it just didn't work out
Ro S
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Re: Fingering w/O an orgasm

Unread post by Ro S »

Hey there xyz!

I want to start out by letting you know that we're experiencing is not abnormal and it can take time to figure out what feels good and pleasurable in your body.

You've said that it is within the last few days that you've first tried out fingering and other kinds of genital stimulation. I want to reassure you that you're not doing anything wrong because you didn't orgasm while masturbating. I also want to add that orgasms are about a lot more than just having the "right" physical stimulation. Orgasm for most folx is actually about feeling connected to the sensations in your body and not necessarily the thoughts in your mind (especially if those are focused on reaching orgasm). Does this make sense?

I would recommend you give this piece a read:The Clitoris, the Vagina and Orgasm: Feelings and Frameworks. Let me know if you have any questions about this article or if you want to talk about anything in more detail.

I also want to take a moment to say that what you've described in your post is not an indicator of whether you're able or not able to have pleasurable partnered sex. If anything, this is an opportunity for you to explore what feels good in your body so that you can better communicate those desires to future sexual partners. It takes time to know what feels good; you're taking time to explore what feels good and that's a good thing!
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