precum

[grace1019]

does make precum work the same as female discharge, as in like it just comes out whenever? or only aroused?

[KierC]

Hi Grace!

Pre-ejaculate fluid is a bit different from female discharge, in that pre-ejaculate comes out when the person with the penis is aroused. So, it won’t come out or be there all the time like vaginal discharge.

[grace1019]

so me and my bf cuddling wouldnt cause precum to just ooze out and get in me even if we were wearing layers

[Latha]

Hi there, Grace1019!

Don't worry, cuddling wouldn't do that. As Kier said, pre-cum isn't there all the time, it only comes out when someone is aroused. And while pre-ejaculate doesn't contain much, if any, sperm in the first place, I think the guiding rule here is the same as for semen — sperm can't pass through clothing. There really is no way that the situation you've described could cause pregnancy. It just isn't possible.

When we're really worried about something that can't happen, I think it can be helpful to take a step back and think about what else might be causing that fear. This article (You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You Think You Are?) goes over some reasons. Would you read it and tell us if any of the explanations resonate with you?

[grace1019]

thank you im just super anxious since i havent had alot of sex ed. especially since rn im 18 and hormones are shifting, i jsut get anxious, i havent had a super serious relationship before either.
I way i like to cope is in my previous relationship me and my ex had piv sex with a condom and i was on no birth control, and i feel like that poses a significantly more risk than giving a handjob wearing jeans

[Latha]

Oh, I definitely understand how the combination of being 18, being in a more serious relationship, and feeling worried about your knowledge could contribute to anxiety. I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed! For what it is worth, being an adult doesn't mean you are on your own — there are still places and people you can look to for support and guidance. One of them is Scarleteen — we have tons of resources on the site, and you can always ask here if you have more questions.

Would you like to develop a plan for how you might respond when you feel anxious, or think about steps you can take to reduce anxiety?

[grace1019]

yeah thank you, idk if you have sources over semen going thru clothing or handjobs, im nervous that his cum go thru my jeans

[Latha]

Hmmm, for hand jobs, I would recommend this article (Who's Afraid of Sperm Cells?). And this article (Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?) covers the risk of pregnancy when you're wearing clothes — look for the part on 'dry frottage or dry sex'.

How do you feel when you read these articles or go over the information that Kier has shared with you? Do they help you feel less nervous?

[grace1019]

why cant semen go thru clothes, such as jeans and pj pants

[CaitlinEve]

Semen is very fragile and wouldn't survive the journey through layers of fabric (Are My Sperm Still Squirming). Did you get a chance to review the articles Latha sent you?

[grace1019]

so thick layers like denim or even thin layers like pj pants or leggings are safe?

[aarija]

Hey grace,
yes, sperm are too fragile to pass through even thin layers. If you haven't already, I highly recommend reading the articles Latha and Caitlin shared and see how that information sits with you.

[grace1019]

so how come when i google things such as can a handjob get me pregnant it says maybe? but sites such as yours say theres no risk, why is that? why is it maybe?