Period/sex

[Sunshinee]

My period is 2-3 days late now and I had protected sex on 3/31 and he didn’t finish in me. He just finished on my chest/face ig. I have been having severe anxiety and stress and depression since January due to unprotected sex that happened on 11/28/2024 which I know I can’t possibly be preg from it from all the tests and the periods. I still have been losing it since then and anxious about everything and every pain I feel. I have a few urine tests in Jan and Feb and they were all negative. I did a blood preg test on 2/16 and 3/17 and they were negative (not quantitative) I have been bloated and constipated for a few months now and that has led to more anxiety when I’ve calmed down. I’ve seen a gastro and he said that I’m just full of stool and gas. I am now sick to my stomach because I haven’t gotten my period and the Flo app is saying I’m 2 days late. It also tracked my fertilie window and ovulation for a week only when my other minths it’s been 10/11 days. Could I have gotten pregnant from the sex that happened on 3/31 even tho it was with a condom and he only finished on my face and chest? I got my period 5 days after that sexual encounter. Before the whole Nov/preg scare I used to have really heavy periods with lots of clots now since the scare and the whole thing my periods have been light and barely filling the pad like usual but when I would go to the bathroom I would fill the toilet with blood and clots. I’m just freaking out. I started to get weird boob pains on both my boobs on the side and sometimes near my nipples. The bloating and the missed period and all of this is really making me depressed and anxious and I want it to go away

[CaitlinEve]

Hi Sunshinee,

I'm sorry you're dealing with this anxiety. As you've had a full period since your last instance of sex, it's not likely you're pregnant even if the sex you described could result in that (slim chance, due to the contraceptive methods, but not impossible). Your bloating and missed period could be attributed to your anxiety, which is truly a vicious cycle when you think about it. I took a look at your previous post history and can see you struggle a lot with this type of anxiety. Did you ever follow-up on birth control with a doctor?

[Sunshinee]

No bc my appointment isn’t until months later. I had a bad experience with bc in the past so that’s why I stopped it. I just want to get my period. I haven’t been this anxious about anything in my life. Last time I was late like this it was in Dec when my period was 3 days late and I was so stressed that I went to the hospital bc my acid went up. I don’t want to feel this anymore. I want to go back to how I was before. I want my period to come and I want to stop worrying. I’ve talked to ppl and it helps but then I’ll spiral once I start feeling something like the breast pains or pains near the outer part of my hips. I’m just so tired of this. I’m honestly just seeing reassurance for where ever I can get and seeing how everyone here helps a lot I always come back.

[CaitlinEve]

I'm sorry. I'm sure this is incredibly frustrating to deal with. Anxiety can definitely feel like someone else is piloting your brain and your body. Many people can relate to wanting to go back to how they felt before their anxiety (myself included). Have you ever thought about going to therapy? At the very least, we may be able to help you develop some coping mechanisms for when you spiral if you'd be interested.

[Sunshinee]

I am now 3 days late and Ik that’s not considered a lot but I’ve been really going through it. It’s been so bad since Dec and I’ve thought about therapy but I really don’t think it’s going to help. I just need to stop having sex and wait till marriage bc it’s making me lose it. And it’s always with the same person who I had a loving relationship with so that’s why I keep going back but now I have someone who’s always with me so it won’t be easy to see him or for him to come to my place like before.

[Jacob]

Hi Sunshinee,

It feels very unlikely that any marriage is going to solve the anxiety you've been feeling around sex, you'll need to explore the root causes, probably in a therapeutic setting, if that's something you want to do!

I wonder if you'd consider not using the app? An app can't actually tell you when you're ovulating it'll be making a guess based on the information that you've put in, but a guess none the less. So I wonder if it's not that your period is coming late, but more that the app is predicting your period too early.

It also seems like checking-and-re-checking your fertility is a source of stress more than anything else - which deleting the app might help with. However I would say some dedicated mental health support would be the way to go if you can get it.