Yet Another Very Embarrassed Teen (Masturbation questions)

[NamesAreHardMan]

Hello! I've been dreading this. I'm a biological male and have been getting urges more and more. I have a lot of people around me I can talk to, have a good education on things, etc. but I've run into a more specific problem that I'd like to address here.

I can only climax with what the internet calls "prone masturbation" and have no other issues, to cut to the chase. I don't want this to be a problem long term if it is a problem and don't know what to do.

I have so many ideas: do I get like a sex toy to try and not do prone masturbation, if so how do I get one? Is it even a bad thing? If I get a partner when I get older will this habit make relations harder? Etc. I just need some advice from actual people while I have the barrier of anonymity.

I hope I did everything right with what place to ask this question and that people will be active to help me out.

[Sofi]

Hi NamesAreHardMan, welcome to the boards!

I hear you're worried that prone masturbation will cause issues long term. I want to start by saying research on this isn't super expansive, but it seems to show it potentially can cause some issues for some folks. I wouldn't say it's wrong to do it EVER, but perhaps be mindful of how often and the intensity.

That said, I want to focus more on your questions-
First, you don't NEED to get a sex toy if you don't want to - although there's nothing wrong with doing so. You can experiment with different methods of masturbation first and just see what works. Keep in mind our main sex organ is our brain, so if you're going into it thinking "this won't be enjoyable, I can only orgasm from prone masturbation" you're going to put pressure on yourself and it's likely you won't enjoy it as much. So try to go into it with an open mind and just let pleasure be the measure of success here, not orgasm.

To your second question, I want to make sure I understand what you're asking. Do you mean will it be a problem with a future partner because they won't understand or will judge you for it? Or are you asking if this will make partnered sex harder, physically?

[NamesAreHardMan]

First, you don't NEED to get a sex toy if you don't want to - although there's nothing wrong with doing so. You can experiment with different methods of masturbation first and just see what works. Keep in mind our main sex organ is our brain, so if you're going into it thinking "this won't be enjoyable, I can only orgasm from prone masturbation" you're going to put pressure on yourself and it's likely you won't enjoy it as much. So try to go into it with an open mind and just let pleasure be the measure of success here, not orgasm.

I may have phrased that poorly, I meant to say that a toy might make it easier to find pleasure without prone masturbation because I know it can be harmful in excess. Other methods besides prone masturbation feel not quite right, maybe with some help from a toy I could have a more healthy mix of prone masturbation and other methods.

To your second question, I want to make sure I understand what you're asking. Do you mean will it be a problem with a future partner because they won't understand or will judge you for it? Or are you asking if this will make partnered sex harder, physically?

I mean that I'm worried it will make partnered sex harder physically, yes.

[Sofi]

Ah, I see, thanks for clarifying! I think it's a valid concern, and like you said research shows it does have negative side effects for some people when done in excess, including making partnered sex less enjoyable. This doesn't mean you can never do it, or that it's a bad thing. As with most things, everyone reacts differently and you know your body best. I think slowly experimenting with different techniques and letting this be something you do occassionally is probably a good approach here.

A toy can certainly help, as many people enjoy them (but this is just a preference, and many people also don't care for them). As far as how to get one, it is hard at your age, but some online retailers don't have an age restriction if that's an option. Whether you use a toy or not, though, remember what I said about going into it with an open mind instead of already thinking it won't feel as good or won't lead to orgasm (which shouldn't always be the end goal). Does that make sense?

[NamesAreHardMan]

Ah, I see, thanks for clarifying! I think it's a valid concern, and like you said research shows it does have negative side effects for some people when done in excess, including making partnered sex less enjoyable. This doesn't mean you can never do it, or that it's a bad thing. As with most things, everyone reacts differently and you know your body best. I think slowly experimenting with different techniques and letting this be something you do occassionally is probably a good approach here.

That makes sense. I've definitely been putting more effort into other things so I'd hate to go 100% either way (one way being since I know my body best, continue as usual unless I run into more issues and the other way being to completely stop due to health concerns despite my pleasure from the method.

A toy can certainly help, as many people enjoy them (but this is just a preference, and many people also don't care for them). As far as how to get one, it is hard at your age, but some online retailers don't have an age restriction if that's an option. Whether you use a toy or not, though, remember what I said about going into it with an open mind instead of already thinking it won't feel as good or won't lead to orgasm (which shouldn't always be the end goal). Does that make sense?

Gotcha. Open mind. Mind open. I am mainly brainstorming ways to explore my frisky side so toys are always on my mind even though it might be difficult or unrealistic to get any.

[Sofi]

Yep, that's how I see it. You're also still very young, and likely to find more things you enjoy as you experiment more. Just be patient and take it one day at a time, there's no rush

[NamesAreHardMan]

Yep, that's how I see it. You're also still very young, and likely to find more things you enjoy as you experiment more. Just be patient and take it one day at a time, there's no rush

Just asking something else, two other more specific things. So to clarify I really can't enjoy masturbation if it isn't prone, so, that's why I'm worried. 1. Should I take steps to stop prone masturbation? One idea I had was go cold turkey so that I'm more sensitive to any contact and I can ease myself into other methods. 2. To be blunt, should I ask my parents for a sex toy? If so, how? Like I'm terrified of my mom looking at me like "you want to do WHAT to my baby? and you want my money for WHAT?" even though she's really, really great and open about these things.

Also, hope you enjoyed your volunteer break or whatever the forums were done for lol.

[Heather]

Personally, I usually don't think asking a parent to get a minor child a sex toy is a good idea for anyone. I think it puts them in a really tough spot (including because the law is tricky around this, and we live in a very sex-negative world and scary-ass times right now, as well as because parents and children need some boundaries around sex and sexuality to have a healthy relationship with each other). I think the better way to go if you want a sex toy as a young person is to save money you get from birthdays or odd jobs or gifts or something else and then work out how to order it yourself. There are a lot of ways to order toys online even when you're underage if you want one.

There is nothing wrong with how you masturbate. There is a lot of really questionable information about masturbating prone out there, and a lot of it is just plain bad. I'm still not totally on board with the information in the link I am about to share here, including because it's usually common for people to change up how they masturbate over the years without it being a big deal or even something all that intentional, AND for many people, this causes no issues. But if you want information on possible issues with this from a credible health source, this is pretty good one in my estimation: https://www.healthline.com/health/healt ... on#outlook

[NamesAreHardMan]

Personally, I usually don't think asking a parent to get a minor child a sex toy is a good idea for anyone. I think it puts them in a really tough spot (including because the law is tricky around this, and we live in a very sex-negative world and scary-ass times right now, as well as because parents and children need some boundaries around sex and sexuality to have a healthy relationship with each other). I think the better way to go if you want a sex toy as a young person is to save money you get from birthdays or odd jobs or gifts or something else and then work out how to order it yourself. There are a lot of ways to order toys online even when you're underage if you want one.

There is nothing wrong with how you masturbate. There is a lot of really questionable information about masturbating prone out there, and a lot of it is just plain bad. I'm still not totally on board with the information in the link I am about to share here, including because it's usually common for people to change up how they masturbate over the years without it being a big deal or even something all that intentional, AND for many people, this causes no issues. But if you want information on possible issues with this from a credible health source, this is pretty good one in my estimation: https://www.healthline.com/health/healt ... on#outlook

You're probably right, I couldn't find any great evidence against it. I'm just anxious around this topic since there isn't much info about this area of health, let alone prone masturbation specifically. Plus, I talked to a trusted friend who gave pretty much the same advice: "If It's not causing any problems yet and there isn't any real proof that there will, continue the otherwise healthy practice." I don't know if that's what you were trying to get across though I hope I understood it well. I'm checking out healthline rn.

[Sofi]

That's my understanding of it as well, and I think that is what Heather was communicating. There's so much fear spread online about sex, and this is likely one of those situations - although almost nothing has NO risks, especially when it comes to sex, so the rule is always to practice safety and if anything hurts, that's a sign to stop/switch it up. If it's not causing you any issues right now, you can continue doing it and just be in tune with your body, but it's not really worth getting super anxious about.