long nails vs lesbian sex

[PomPom]

sooo. i have a long acrylic nails. not crazy long, just not short for sure (about 2-2,5 centimeters from the tip of my finger, and i have like ballerina shape) and in the future i might have some
sort of intimacy with other girl that i know, and we’re kinda dating, kinda not. i have an appointment for my nails tomorrow and i’m thinking about length and shape. can i possibly hurt her or make it uncomfortable/painful with nails? i think about making them a bit shorter, but still long enough so i could do some design. i’m open to cutting them short in the future but this appointment is my last opportunity to get real detailed design (my master is moving to another city) and i don’t want to waste it. soo. is it safe to have sex with nails like mine? i have a sex toy, so i myself dont put my fingers in, or any other object. or maybe i can just do oral(she’ll like oral)? but shouldn’t you use your fingers too when doing oral?

[Sofi]

Hi! As a fellow long nail haver, this is definitely a struggle many of us face. Most people opt for wearing long nails on all fingers except two on one hand, whichever two they use for fingering their partner, and make those two short. Most nail techs will just find a way to still keep the design coherent across all nails even though two are shorter than the rest. (People also do this for bowling, since you can't comfortably put fingers with long nails in the bowling ball holes, so that can always be your excuse if your nail tech or anyone else asks and you don't want to share the real reason, haha.)

Now if you aren't planning on fingering her at all, and will only give her oral and use a toy for any insertion, the long nails aren't a problem. No other part of sex will need short nails other than fingering. Whether you should use your fingers or not during oral depends on what your partner likes, there's really not one way it "should" be done since everyone likes different things. So you could always ask her in the moment (or before), and then you'll know her preference going forward

[PomPom]

hm. i think about it. it’s hard to even talk to her about all this sex stuff. but my main question is: can i hurt her with long nails and can i do oral without any penetration??? i know it’s different for anyone but maybe there’s some tips on what you can and cannot do?

[Tara]

Hi, PomPom:

I will jump in here. With long nails, its possible to hurt yourself or anyone just with having the nails themselves (for example, accidentally poking someone in the eye, scratching them, etc.) So long nails generally pose a minimal risk beyond sexual activity. However, it is a minimal risk and you can still engage in sexual activities with long nails. You will want to be cautious fingering if you decide to not shorten the nails because that could harm her. I like Sofi's ideas about getting two shorter nails if you decide you are going to finger.

As for oral, you can do this with or without inserting of fingers or a toy. We avoid using the word "penetration", but like to use "insertion" instead. Having a conversation with your partner would actually be a good next step because it would allow you to open the communication line about what feels safe, risky, desirable, etc. and be able to make decisions and set boundaries that might influence your decision about the nail length. Do you want to talk about ways to effectively communicate with your partner about these topics?

Here is a good article about having conversations about sex with your partner:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex with a Partner
https://www.scarleteen.com/read/relatio ... ex-partner

[Sofi]

Just wanted to jump in real quick - I agree with everything Tara said!
But I'm noticing your wording, you said "it's hard to even talk to her about all this sex stuff". It's really not recommended to have sex with someone who we aren't comfortable talking to about sex. Communication is a really important part of sex, and being able to talk about your wants, likes, dislikes, boundaries etc is kind of bare minimum when engaging in a sexual relationship with someone. So I'm wondering, have you tried to talk to her about this before, and if so how did that go? If not, how come?