Struggling with identifying safe toys

[Gravity]

I’ve never touched a toy in my life before. I want to start using them, however. I’m wondering if theres anything I must know before going about a purchase

[Gravity]

I’m struggling to figure out how to get a safe toy, I’m not sure if it’s better to get one online or in a store. Also, what would the best place to store the toys?

[Andy]

Hi there, Gravity, and welcome to the boards!

(I’ve put your posts together into one topic because they are really closely related so it will be easier to keep track of them like this)

I’m afraid I can’t give you any simple answers to which toys and where you should buy them, because that depends on a lot of things. As for online vs in store, both might have it’s benefist. When you shop in a store, you have a chance to see the toys and how they work and ask the shop assistants any questions you might have. Small independent businesses, where you are most likely to get good advice, also tend to operate more as small in-person shops. On the other hand, shopping online can mean more options to choose from, more privacy and you can do it from the comfort of your home.

As for what you should know before buying something, things to look out for might be the material and safety of the toy, if it can provide the stimulation you are looking for, how you should take care of it etc.
Luckily, we have this amazing new series which might be helpful: How to Play with Toys: Wand Vibrators (so far, you can read about various types of vibrators there)

There is also this article about making toys at home, which might be helpful if you are figuring out what you are looking for from a toy: D.I.Y Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition

Are these articles helpful? Do you have any more questions?

[Gravity]

I’m not quite sure. I’ve been wanting to experiment with anal vibration, I’m just not sure how I’d even be able to do that with a wand

[Heather]

Hi there, Gravity.

Are you looking for something you would only use externally, on or near your anus, or something you could insert into your rectum?

[Gravity]

Hi there, Gravity.

Are you looking for something you would only use externally, on or near your anus, or something you could insert into your rectum?

The latter. I’m sorry I’m not good with all this, I’m extremely nervous even though I have nothing to worry about.

[Heather]

That's okay, and you sure don't owe us any apologies!

So, if you want something you can insert, what's most important is just that that toy has a flared base. They make vibrating butt plugs for this kind of stimulation. You may also see them called prostate massagers (even though people without prostates can use them, too). So long as what you use is meant for that purpose, and you use it gently per what feels good to you and with plenty of lube, you're all safe.

It's best not to buy the cheapest toys when possible, or to buy them from places like Amazon, because those toys can sometimes be made poorly -- like with materials that aren't as body-safe or environmentally sound, or with rough edges in places there shouldn't be. But you can order online from most independent sex toy shops, and at 18 that shouldn't be a problem.

Per where to store your toys, it's really up to you. Most don't need special storage, and you'll often want to rinse them off before use no matter what just because they can gather dust and such.

[amber]

Hi Gravity,

No apologies needed! It can be intimidating to look for sex toys especially for the first time cause there are a lot of options.
As Andy mentioned, material is important to look at especially in regards to any lube you plan to use with it. Cleaning instructions are also an important factor (and tend to come with the toy!). For internal anal stimulation, vibrating butt-plugs or other toys with a flared base are what to look for.

Although it can be intimidating it should be a fun process! How about taking some pressure off the process and instead let your curiosity and desire for exploration guide your search. How does that sound?

[Gravity]

Thank you both. I’ve been looking through my local drugstores for the types you suggested. I’ve not had much luck, however. I don’t have a car yet so I have to have it be within walking distance. I’m pretty sure the store I want to go to is out of the one I’m looking for

[Heather]

Yeah, drugstores don't usually carry toys, or, if they do, carry many of them. Is online ordering an option for you? That would usually be a best bet if there isn't an independent sex toy shop near you.

[Gravity]

I have no clue how to buy online, plus, I only have cash

[lilikoi]

Hi Gravity,

Shucks. Sounds like online isn't going to work out for you right now. Some big box stores like Target or Walmart carry toys in the sexual wellness section. You could use cash to get a gift card and then search their inventory online and purchase something that way. As Heather mentioned, that's not ideal if you have the option of choosing from a store that curates items specifically for sex and prioritizes quality. If you are struggling to search Google Maps for independent stores, they are often listed as Adult Stores.

I know you are curious about buying something but, have you given this article any consideration D.I.Y Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition? As Heather mentioned, it is really important that whatever you insert in your rectum has a flared base but if you follow the details of the article, you could get creative!

[Gravity]

I have an update, I was able to get my hands on the toy, I did just realize I don’t have a condom nor lube- any suggestions on my next step

[HannahP]

Hi there Gravity! If you are the only one who is going to be using the toy, it's okay to use it without condoms. All you need to do is make sure you wash it thoroughly with soap and water every time you use it.

If the toy is for using internally, you will need lube to use it safely and comfortably. But you usually can easily buy lube in drugstores in the US. Have you looked at the stores around you?

[Gravity]

Yes I have, I just don’t want to go out again tonight. I might be able to go out over the weekend. I assumed the condoms we’re to make sure the toy was not damaged or worse, something got on it

[HannahP]

Nope, it's important to use condoms if you're going to be sharing a toy with someone else or if you're using a DIY sex toy like a toothbrush that might be hard to clean properly. But properly made sex toys are safe to use on your body, are unlikely to be damaged, and are usually made to be easy to clean well. That being said, if you want to use condoms on your toy for the sake of easier clean up, that's totally fine! It's just personal preference.

Unfortunately, I think you probably should wait until you can get some lube! I will say that some people use oils like coconut oil as lube, so that could be an option if you have any available. But you would need to make sure that it won't react badly with the material of your toy (it should be okay, coconut oil just shouldn't be used with latex), and know that some people find that natural oils can irritate their skin. You can read more about lube options in this article: Lube 101: A Slick Little Primer

[Gravity]

Thank you so much!