first time at the gynecologist

[shark_hyazinthe]

Okay, so I have to go to the gynecologist for the first time in my life and I'm really, really scared. I don't even know why, because I'm always the one to comfort my friends when they have to go, and I know that it's not that bad, but I'm super scared right now.
I pretty much just want them to check if I have endometriosis or something, but I'm really scared that they won't take me seriously or that they will just make me take the pill (but I heard they can make you depressed, so I don't want that).
I also don't know how I should describe my pain, because it can always be worse, and I don't want to cause unneeded drama.
Like, how can I know when something isn't normal if I don't have any referrence?

[Andy]

Hi there, shark_hyazinthe!

As you already know from supporting your friends, many people are nervous about their first gynecologist appointment, which is absolutely understandable, especially when you have the added stress of wanting to bring up your pain there. I’m wondering if maybe talking about this with the friends who have already been through their first appointments might be helpful?

If you have any specific questions about how the first appointment might be like, we can definitely talk or give you some resources about that, so let us know if you would like that. But it sounds to me like you are more worried about how will they deal with your period pain so I will focus more on that.

Generally, any pain that is disturbing your life (as in not being able to work/go to school/focus etc.) and/or isn’t relieved by over-the-counter analgesics and/or has some other unusual symptoms tied to it, should be examined and treated by your healthcare provider. But even if that sounds like something you are experiencing, it does not have to mean there is any underlying issue or that you will get a diagnosis on your first appointment. What you can do on your first appointment is describing clearly your pain, it’s history, how it is affecting your life and any other symptoms and preexisting health conditions you have to the doctor and then trusting their professional knowledge in their assessment of it. And if you feel like you did not get what you needed from them and like they are not a good fit for you, you can always find someone else! We have a great article about communicating with doctors if you would like some more advice with that: Dealing With Doctors: Taking Control of Your Health Care Destiny


As for the pill, I just want to gently clarify that while depression, among others, can be a side effect of using birth control pill, it does not mean it happens to everybody. Most people use that kind of birth control for years without having any issues! So if it something that is offered to you, you might want to bring up your worries to the doctor and ask if something in your health history might play a role in how the pill might work for you.
But even if you decide that is not something you want, there are other ways of managing period pain, like you can read in this old, but still really useful, piece: Stamp Out Cramps (Without the Pill)

If you want, we can also talk more about your experience with the pain. We can’t of course substitute professional healthcare, but we can provide some info and it might be helpful to know what kinds of questions to expect from the gynecologist too! That might be: When do you experience the pain, only during your period or not? And for how long does it usually last? Do over-the-counter medication help at all? Does something else help? How does it affect your day to day life? For how long have you been menstruating?
I’m asking the last one, because it is common for periods to be more painful during the first few years of having them, so this is something that might get better for you in some time!

[Andy]

Adding this amazing article, which might provide you some more information on dealing with period pain and support knowing you are not the only one, especially if the appointment isn’t really helpful:Bloodlines: On Period Pain

[shark_hyazinthe]

Thanks a lot for the articles, they were really interesting and helpful!
So, I've has my period for a pretty long time now, since I was ten, and it has always been pretty bad. I get cramps before and during my period, and offen they hurt pretty bad, not always though. I Always get sick and have to throw up and stuff, so I often can't go to school. The only pain medication that works for now makes me feel really tired and sluggish, and I just can't concentrate anymore. I also get very emotional (I think a lot of people get that), and I feel a lot more anxious during my periods or get panic attacks. But I don't know if the gynecologist needs to know that (?)

[Heather]

Hey there.

I think the OB/GYN should know all of the things you just listed here. This for sure does not sound normal -- in other words, this isn't how periods just being worse in the first few years tends to present. (Also, as someone who always threw up and was in a lot of pain for all the 40 years I had periods, my sympathies: this kind of pain and impact is so disruptive and crummy.)

Do you get nervous with doctors? If so, I'd go ahead and write all of this down to bring to your appointment to be sure4 you don't forget anything. I'd include how long you have had your periods, what they have felt like throughout, when your cramps happen and how bad they are (they will often ask about pain on a scale of 0 - 10, so it can be handy to think about that in advance: 0 is no pain, whereas 10 would be the kind of pain we'd have if we were being actively eaten by a bear). I'd include the mood impacts your menstrual cycle has had. I'd talk about what pain medications have and haven't worked for you. I'd also talk about how much school and other parts of life you have missed.