Can the body really know if someone is right for you?

[gnarp_gnarp_2]

What about someone who wants casual relationships or has multiple long term relationships that don’t last but aren’t a “failure.”

[Heather]

Hey there, gnarp_grarp2.

I'm not sure what you mean in terms of the question you asked in your title. I also am not sure what you're asking in the body of the post. Are you asking about being with someone in a causal or poly setup? If so, what specifically are you asking about that?

[gnarp_gnarp_2]

Sorry I meant does your body give signs that show that a person is the right person to be with in a relationship.

[Latha]

Hi Gnarp_gnarp_2,

Hmmm... that's an interesting question! We can experience emotions physically, so I think paying attention to your body can give you important information about how it feels to be around another person. You might feel calm and safe with someone, or tense and afraid. You might enjoy being with them, or feel fidgety and restless--like you need to be somewhere else. If you feel attraction to another person, you might notice that within your body.

So, will your body tell you that someone is the right person? In some ways, yes. All of these sensations are a part of what tells you whether being with someone is right for you. It is likely that you'll find many different people who feel good to be around in life--the form that your relationship with them takes will depend on both of your needs.

If I may ask, what has brought this question up for you? You asked about people with multiple relationships that are not "failures", earlier--is this about someone you are considering dating, or something more general? What does it mean to fail a relationship, in your opinion?

[gnarp_gnarp_2]

Oh I was just thinking about it recently and I wanted to ask.

I noticed whenever people talk about whether the body can tell if someone is right for you, they usually mention “the one” and I feel like that isn’t always realistic especially for people with multiple relationships.

Even though people should be very comfortable with their partner and their bodies should reflect that I also feel like bodies can’t be perfect and the correlation between physical health and a relationship really depends on how people are feeling at the time.

I’m not sure if I just have low expectations for relationships or something but I’m not sure what to think when people say their random physical health problems stem from bad relationships

I’m not sure if this is making any sense and I kind of don’t have anyone else to talk to about this

[Sofi]

I think I know what you're referring to, and it's not fully untrue. The thing is our mental health can and often does manifest in physical symptoms - for example, anxiety can turn into a tummy ache, stress can turn into spots of hair loss, etc... So when people say that, they often mean that when you know deep inside that you're with someone that isn't right for you (and likely causing you feelings like anxiety and stress), you feel it in your body and it can make you ill. While that's true, it isn't an exact formula, since whether someone is right for you or not is subjective. So it isn't much about a soulmate or not, ultimately, just about how comfortable you feel with them, as you mentioned. You could have multiple relationships and feel comfortable in all of them. You could also have physical health issues like chronic illness that isn't related to your partner(s) at all. It just happens that when we feel something is off mentally, it often shows up physically. Does that make sense?

[gnarp_gnarp_2]

Yeah that makes a lot of sense. I feel like I couldn’t really put this into words before thank you