finding non-transphobic/genderqueer detransition resources

[periphery]

I made a post about gender expression in November but it's been long enough and this is a separate enough topic that I made a new post, so here's a summary of my gender situation: I used to consider myself trans male/masculine and now I don't really consider myself any specific gender anymore except maybe genderfluid (or more broadly genderqueer or gender non-conforming). In general at the moment I just don't feel like gender really applies to me anymore - it feels important that I used to have a strong concept of gender + feeling of identifying as a trans male and now I don't anymore, so detransition feels very relevant to my experience of gender at the moment.

So, I want to find resources or blogs that discuss detransition and find people with similar experiences/feelings to mine. I've found a couple of posts on Tumblr that articulate feelings/thoughts I've had really well and it's made me feel very seen which has been really helpful, but because I've got all of the radfem/transphobic tags I know blocked there's basically nothing left to look at on there. If there are resources elsewhere on the internet I have no idea how to find them and how to filter/distinguish between transphobic and trans-friendly websites, and I find anything that uses detransition as transphobic rhetoric really upsetting. My gender now feels very complicated and contradictory - I feel both trans and non-trans at the same time (but still not cis) and I really want to find people talking about detransition in a way that doesn't just view the past transition as a mistake and something that you can just fix and go back to normal from.

For an example of the kind of thing I want to find more of, I found the article Gender Journaling (on here) really helpful and interesting to read. Does anyone have any ideas where I could find other resources and how I can navigate finding trans-friendly ones?

[char]

Hi Periphery! Thank you for sharing with us your current experience with gender. While we don't have any specific articles on detransitioning (yet), we do have an article about spotting anti-trans/transphobic resources: It's a Trap: How to Spot Anti-Trans Resources.

I came across an external resource on detransitioning that offers lots of articles about detransitioning from an open-minded, trans-friendly perspective. Do you think it'd be a good place to start for you?

[Heather]

Would you like to be able to have a one-on-one conversation with someone about this? I have a close friend who has had a similar journey, and can ask them if they can pop in here, if so.

[periphery]

Both of these sound really helpful! I would love links to any external resources you know of, and one-on-one conversation would be great - I'm usually not very consistent in checking my notifications for the boards nowadays but I will make sure to keep an eye on them.

[Andy]

Hi periphery,

I’ve let both Heather and char know that you would be interested in the conversation and resources! However, Heather is on holiday now so it might take some time before they get back to you.

[char]

Hi periphery! Thanks for waiting, I was already clocked out when your reply came in ;;

I came across this website on detransition created by two researchers from Canada called Detrans Support. They led two separate studies on detransition, retransition, and other non-linear gender transitions, then compiled their findings, as well as the insights from several public events, into the site. Check it out here: https://detransinfo.com/

One of the researchers from the Detrans Info website, Kinnon Ross MacKinnon, also has a Substack page where he and fellow researcher Pablo Expósito-Campos dive into the detransitioning experience from a scholarly perspective, if Substack is your thing. The page is called The One Percent: https://theonepercentdetrans.substack.com/. Even though I haven't read every single piece from these two websites, the ones I've read were very helpful and far from demeaning or invalidating trans experiences that are closer to "typical" or mainstream representation in the media. I hope these are helpful!

[periphery]

I'll have a look, thanks a lot!

[periphery]

Hi, just wanted to check back in about having that one on one conversation with someone - is that still something that could happen? If people aren't available right now but would be in the future, could I get an idea of whenabouts? Thanks!

[Heather]

Periphery, I'm hitting up that friend for you now. Sorry for the delay on my part!

[periphery]

All good! Thanks for getting back to me so quickly

[periphery]

Hiya, had some more thoughts on this I wanted to get some input on.

I'm currently helping to run my university's LGBTQ+ society but as per the gender crisis have started to feel increasingly uncomfortable being a representative and organiser for the queer community in my uni/town. I feel now like I'm on the fringes of being lgbt+ and I still want to engage with the community but not have responsibility/obligation within that. We've got elections coming up in a couple of weeks but I'm expected to stay on in my role until June at the least and we're not sure whether we'll even be able to find someone to replace me. I'm going to leave this year regardless, but it's a conversation I need to have with my friends who are also running it with me and I don't really know how to approach talking to them about it, especially because I know being queer is very important to them and that they still view me as trans. I don't really want to be responsible at all anymore but no one else is doing my job and it feels cruel to just quit when we might have a replacement for me within the month. Do you have any advice?

[Sofi]

It sounds like there are other people running it too, correct? If so, I think it's okay to give them a 2-week or 1-month notice that you won't be doing that anymore. If you can hold off until a replacement is found that's always best, but you also have to take care of yourself, and if you don't feel safe or comfortable in this role anymore, that's more important. Can you bring this up with your friends who help you run it and see what they say? They might be more understanding than you'd think. <3