Why am I lesbian?

[leaflet owo]

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

this is just honestly a genuine question. does anyone out there know the science behind lesbian-ism? I'm an almost highschool graduate girl who likes girls and who has known she likes girls for a LONG time. My parents tell me that in pre-school i used to come and every week say that I had a new girlfriend.

I'd just like to know why that is? Like, why do people like girls in the first place? What is it about girls that make them look so delicious? Okay actually also in general. How does our brain decide what looks "mmmmm" and what's "meh," and what's "ew"? even for guys, how come some of them just know they like girls? how come some of them tend to like guys? HOW COME SOME GIRLS LIKE GUYS (i just wished we all liked girls and i didn't have to panic every time i wanna ask someone out, but thats a convo for an other day)

Thank you y'all for feeding my curiousity, have a fantastic day/evening/twilight if you're a gremlin who also enjoys to come on scarleteen at 3 in the morning.

[Heather]

Hey there.

So, there really isn't any such thing, not in the way you are looking for, where there are answers to what you are asking specifically about women being attracted to women.

What we know about EVERY orientation -- in other words, these things are true for all of them, not just one -- is that sexual orientation has long appeared to be something that everyone is born with to a great degree, so it appears to be primarily based in genetics, hormones in utero and our brain structures, and then is also influenced by our life experiences, though -- whether people know it early like you did or not -- a lot of the experience that influences this is often pretty baked in before we even reach puberty. This is one reason why the idea that any of us can change our sexual orientation by choice is so flawed.

Sorry there isn't more to offer you, but based on everything we know so far, this is one of those things like pretty most things that are personality-based, where there is such a wide array of diversity, not based on any particular cause or set of causes, but just based in the many variances there are between human beings! It might help to realize, though, that if we are in the mindset of recognizing that sexual diversity is just normal, even the idea of a "cause" for any one orientation kind of falls apart, you know?

Hope you're hanging in there in Minnesota, btw: especially if you're near the Twin Cities it's not an easy place to be in right now. <3

[leaflet owo]

thank you for the support! and the reply.

I like that that you said that the idea of a cause for orientation wouldn't make sense (even though I didn't really understand it) Are there any recommendations of where to look for answers? It's just piques my interest so muuchhh. I know I like girls, but _whyy_ do I like them? what about them makes them attractive? what about _me_ makes them attractive. You answered that in your response, yes, but I'm looking for a neardy science explanation.

ALSO OH MY STARS WAS THAT THE HEATHER CORINNA FOUNDER OF SCARLETEEN??????? OH MY GOODNESS AND THEY RESPONDED TO MY QUERY? I FEEL SO HONOUREDDDDDD

[Anya]

Hey leaflet owo,

I got a couple articles for ya that ask similar questions to you, helping debunk the myth that sexuality is chosen, and instead a complex web of social and biological functioning/reacting. Here are a few starters!

There is no 'gay gene.' There is no 'straight gene.' Sexuality is just complex, study confirms
The Rainbow Collection: Orientation for Everyone
The Birds and the Bees...: a Homosexuality and Bisexuality Primer

Once you've given these a read, let me know if you wanna tak more about this!

[KierC]

Hey leaflet! I hope it’s ok I’m popping in here too as a fellow science nerd.

As Heather said, there really isn’t a scientific explanation for why we’re attracted to who we’re attracted to. If you like science, though, there IS a scientific explanation for why there’s not a scientific explanation for homosexuality, and it’s pretty interesting!

If you look at the first article Anya sent, you’ll see they reference this study from 2019, where they conducted a genome-wide association study to see if there are is a gene or multiple genes highly associated with homosexuality. They found that there is not a single gene or genes that are highly associated with homosexuality, as genes can only account for 8-25% of the variability the researchers saw between sexes. Moreover, they found that it’s a polygenic trait, meaning there’s not one but many genes that can make tiny contributions to it. This is just like other complex traits, where we can’t really pin down one “reason” for it.