Personal concern about possible Cyst

[ICECREAMIDK]

Hello, so I have a personal question I don't feel like telling my parents about after getting denied halfway through my explanation to them. So I experience pain near where my left ovary would be since I was 13, I thought it was a normal thing at first, but now I don't know if it's a possible cyst or another issue. It happens every month for days after my cycle and I haven't seen a gynecologist in 12 years (I hit puberty at age 6 and never experienced pain in that area til a few years ago), I know this isn't a gynecologist thing here but does any expert possibly know if I should be concerned and try again to ask my parents if I can see a gynecologist?

[char]

Hi ICECREAMIDK,

I'm sorry your parents refused to listen to your health concerns. Your worries are completely valid, and you deserve to be believed when you experience pain.

We can definitely help you with looking for a gynecologist in Virginia (as you shared in your profile); Planned Parenthood comes to mind, especially if there's a local center around you. They should be able to provide free or low-cost service for younger clients. I'll also ask other volunteers if they know other resources since I don't live in the US myself. In the meantime, you can check out our resources page here: https://www.scarleteen.com/ask/external

Aside from the ovarian pain, are you experiencing other discomfort?

[ICECREAMIDK]

Not really, but I have other symptoms that may line up with PGAD/PGAS which is another reason why I want to see a gynecologist. But thank you for the reply!

[KierC]

Hey there!

I’m sorry to hear you’re experiencing these symptoms and worried about PGAD. It does sound like a good idea to see a gynecologist so you can talk through these concerns with and be seen by a medical professional. How do you feel about talking to your parents again about this? Do you have any concerns or any advice needed as you approach them again?

[ICECREAMIDK]

I don't feel comfortable talking to my parents about it since I got denied over "Oh 3 years? Then it's normal", I want to try and speak to my dad again tomorrow (my father is a mental health nurse but doesn't know much about female reproductive system), but I don't know how to ask for a gynecologist appointment when he might ask questions I feel uncomfortable answering. Advice or something would be appreciated though.

[KierC]

Ah, I hear you. I’m sorry that they dismissed you like that! Suffering with this pain for 3 years is not something anyone deserves to experience. I can also appreciate how them saying that could make you feel uncomfortable talking to them again. Hopefully, your dad with his profession might be someone who could be sympathetic if you told him you were in pain during certain points in your cycle and you’d like to talk to a doctor about it?

It might also help for me to hear a little about how communication with your dad goes typically. Have you been able to bring up serious topics one-on-one to him before, and if so how did it play out?

[ICECREAMIDK]

Well, for my father I'm not sure since he has to tell my stepmother stuff or else she'll start arguing about whatever. But on Monday I actually did have a conversation with him about another issue of how she treats me which was kind of a comfort and not comfort conversation but he hope's thing would get better when we move (yes I'm moving in a different state soon in Florida, I don't know if I can share what area of Florida on here though), he's the one that actually cared enough to make my stepmother make an appointment about 2 months ago in Nov about my consent headaches. My stepmother? She doesn't act like she cares much and normally acts like I'm fine despite knowing I experienced early puberty at age 6 and took me to a gynecologist before to get answers on it, ever since I haven't seen a gynecologist in nearly 12 years. So that's the difference between them.

[amber]

Hi ICECREAMIDK,

I am sorry to hear that you've felt diminished in your relationship with your stepmother. I agree with KierC and char that it sounds like going to a doctor would be best.

Knowing that your stepmother might not be receptive of your request to see a doctor, it seems like a good plan to speak with your father just the two of you to start. It may be helpful to let him know that this pain is making you nervous and stressed and that seeing a doctor would be great and give you some peace of mind. Maybe you could use the move to your advantage by saying you would like to see a doctor before you move - putting a timeframe on the ask may help your father see the importance of getting you an appointment.

It sounds like you have been struggling with your relationship with your stepmother and it's strain on your relationship with your father as well. Do you wanna talk more about this as well? I know it can be very hard when struggling to communicate with parental figures.

[ICECREAMIDK]

No thank you! I appreciate the help you and the other staff gave me, have a nice day or night to everyone! I might have an update tomorrow if I get an answer from my dad.❤

[KierC]

You’re so welcome, we hope you had a good night too!

I hope the conversation goes well if you get an answer from your dad. We’re here for any updates or extra help you might need <3

[ICECREAMIDK]

Ok I'm back after about 3 days. My father didn't say yes but he didn't really say no either to a gynecologist, just "ugh go talk to mom" then said he'll let her know. PS: he forgotten to mention it
But found out he bought me a new phone that's coming tomorrow so maybe if allowed, I could call a gynecologist myself with my fathers permission or something.

[KierC]

Yes! I think calling yourself with permission sounds like a good idea. It may also be worth reminding him to tell your mom. I’m sorry you have to do so much self advocating to get seen by someone about this, but you’re doing great and I’m hoping you can be seen by a doctor soon! If it continues to be difficult to get seen though, do let us know and we can continue helping figure this out.

[ICECREAMIDK]

Hi! so I'm back, the phone is really great but has parental supervision permission on it which is fine enough, but due to political stuff and rumors in my current state Virginia, I think I'll wait until Florida Cape Coral to get checked by a gynecologist since everything seems to be going downhill right now. Good night or day to all staff!

[Latha]

Hello ICECREAMIDK! Good luck with the move! Let us know if you would like any advice when you are looking for a doctor in Florida.

If you are comfortable, could you say a little about the rumors that you've heard in Virginia? I'm curious about what is happening.

[ICECREAMIDK]

Ok but it's a bunch of political rumor stuff to the point I don't know what's true, just what I heard. Apparently this new governor in VA or something might allow doctors to do abortions without consent, changing minors sex identity, taking away Virginia citizen voting rights to Virginia laws and bills, all kinds of stuff related to children and families.
Yesterday when I sent to get the trash can, my father told me to wait until the other political party neighbor goes into her house then get the trash, because he didn't want the one who voted this stuff to talk to me. In 2025 April, a doctor told my stepmother to not have any more kids cause when she had a c section the baby was in horrible health condition for a day or two, but my stepmother thought it was bs. I just know her first bio child in 2022 was mostly fine, the next in 2023 had some issues, but the third in April 2025 was low blood sugar, fluid in lungs, and everything which was the reason why the doctor said no more kids for they might be in worse condition, making my parents fear if there's another in 2026 they might kill it.

So I am concerned about going to a gynecologist if Virginia is going this downhill to the point you can't trust doctors, so I decided to wait another 4 months or so just for a doctor in Florida since it sounds like Virginia is getting this bad with confirmation that VA citizens are moving out of the state over everything. I know, this is a lot to take in to the point you can't trust anyone in this situation.

[Latha]

Thank you for telling me about what you heard! These rumors are concerning. As as you know, we work with young people, so anything that impacts the safety of children and families is really important for us to address. We are also very big on informed consent and evidence-based medical care, so we for sure would want to follow up on any rumors of forced or unnecessary medical treatment and factor that into the advice we give: if it is true, we would have to tell our users in Virginia, and if it is false, people might miss out on necessary medical care because they are afraid. That can have negative effects on people's health, so we have to be diligent.

You are right that it can be really hard to keep track of political developments like these. And when the issue at hand involves a subject like healthcare, it can be more difficult, because sometimes you need specific knowledge to understand what people are arguing about. There is so much contradictory information, and it is hard to know who to trust.

If it helps at all, there are some strategies and skills that those of us here use to try to make sense of what we hear. They don't fix everything, but they can make hearing about these subjects less confusing or overwhelming. The term that is sometimes used for these skills is 'information literacy'. Off the top of my head, I can give you two resources for it. You could also look it up on your own, and if you can access a library, it is very likely that you'll be able to find guides there as well.

• Literacy is Power: How to Get Yourself a Kick-Butt BS Detector (from us)

• Crash Course: Navigating Digital Information (YouTube course)

I don't want to tell you what exactly you should believe, so you can tell us if you disagree with something we say or are not sure. But since we are a sex education organization, we'd be happy to answer any reproductive and sexual health questions and help you understand why we believe the things we do. Hearing that might make it easier for you to evaluate the rumors you hear and come to your own conclusions.

We can also try to give you information that might help you understand your parents' fears. We don't know about your step-mother's health and about what happened with her pregnancies, so we can't provide a specific medical assessment. However, we can talk about why a doctor might caution against having more children, why people have complications during pregnancy, and why some children are born sick. We can also chat about how doctors can sometimes, by chance or accident, or by being negligent or malicious, hurt their patients.

it sounds like Virginia is getting this bad with confirmation that VA citizens are moving out of the state over everything.

Could you tell us where you got this confirmation? I have family in Virginia, so I am concerned and I'd like to follow up on it. If you could ask whoever told you about those rumors where they heard those things, it would help us investigate them as well.

[ICECREAMIDK]

Sure Latha. I heard all this from my dad while he talks and watches videos on it, he works in a government hospital and all his coworkers, boss, and police there agree it's going downhill and saying to him "At this point you need to get out of here and go to Florida, it's just getting worse in the state and this hospital" (apparently my fathers current new boss is trying to get the nurses arrested for handling an aggressive mental patient wrong so he cant even trust his job, even the chief of police is tired of being called there). I just hear my father talking about it, and he's clearly concerned and in fear to the point he's willing to take less than what we're trying to sell the house for to get away from here completely. Even his coworkers against these things want to get out. So I am not sure if all these are rumors from worried citizens or true stuff the gov employees know.

[Tara]

Hi, ICECREAMIDK:

I am so sorry you are dealing with what sounds like chaos in your home state and with your family's situation. I am sure that can't be easy for you on top of dealing with personal/body stressors. Do you have any next steps you want to consider to make sure your sexual health issues and questions are addressed? We are certainly happy to help answer some of your questions and equip you with information (our website really has a plethora of resources that can help), but we also want to be able to help you find solutions to getting the health care you need.