The thought of ending up with a man makes me cry

[Puppylovesball]

I know that not labeling my sexuality is right for right now. But I honestly can't stand the thought of being straight. Sorry if this sound repetitive. Right now I'm cool with not knowing my sexuality . Sometimes I wish I could talk to my mom about it.

Idk it sucks that I feel like I'm easily swayed by people opinions because one minute I was excited / nervousabout trying thingsout with a girl. I hate the way people talk about women andwomen body. I feel my stomach hurts whenever people talk about women private part and act like it's disgusting. It make me feel bad for liking it and wanting it. I felt like I know for sure what I wanted but then I picture it actually happening and ask what if I'm wrong and I end up not liking what I want. Like what if kissing a girl doesnt make me feel anything or sleeping with a girl doesnt ease my nerves or I just didnt like it then what.

I just hate the thought that Im straight and Im asexual because I dont ant to deal with a guy like that. and i kinda do want to have sex just cant picture enjoying a man touching me like that. and i hate that the thought of being with a man in general.There is nothing exciting about ending up with a man it disappointing. I feel like my only two options is finding out I like women and being with one or staying by myself which nothing wrong with staying by myself honestly that was the plan from the beginning but idk anymore.

[Anya]

Hey there Puppylovesball,

It sounds like there might be a lot of anxiety surrounding this subject for you. I know you've made similar posts and I wanna say how much I know it sucks to not know what you want or what your life is going to look like. Attraction, orientation, and relationships are such complex, ever-changing things, and it's totally understandable to be confused or stressed about "figuring it out."

The good thing is that there really is no timeline for these things! I know that sitting in the unknown feels uncomfortable, but sometimes it's all we can do. I would really recommend doing your best to realize that you don't need to have all of this figured out right now, and as you grow and change as a person you'll likely meet people who bring out new sides of you.

I hear a lot of worry about theoretical situations coming from your post, and want you to rememeber that no matter how old you are, you never know what's going to happen or how you're going to feel in the future, potentially when you meet someone you're really interested in. It might give you the most clarity to cut yourself some slack and wait for someone to come along who may fit one of those identities, or something completely different, and show you more of what you like in real people, not theoretical ideas of people. Does that make sense? Whatever you feel is okay and will continue to be okay, if you don't want to sleep with someone who happens to be a man, woman, or another identity, you don't have to, and if you do want to, that's okay too!

How does this feel to you?

[Puppylovesball]

it feels okay

[Tara]

Please let us know how you are doing after applying some of Anya's recommendations! Or, if you need help with anything else.