Clitoral(?) Stimulation is Overwhelming but i think it gets me to orgasm, help!

[insert_username]

I've been sort of experimenting for a while with different sensations (fingering only since I have no toys or anything but would like to invest in one eventually) and I sort of think ive found a place that gets me extremely stimulated when I rub it but its also just... extremely overwhelming when I do? Like it feels good but at the same time it almost hurts a bit (its not like pain in the traditional sense but something else? I dont know how to explain it. Like really really bad tickling ache idk. It only happens when i touch it and qhen im not its fine) but when I do stimulate it I basically orgasm and I like the buildup but im always too overstimulated to really keep going and I tend to have to fight how uncomfortable it feels even as im actively feeling good? I almost want to stop but when I do I feel incomplete but if I keep going it almost hurts? But it kind of turns into this pain/pleasure combo?

I say "clitoral" with a question mark because I cant actually tell if it *is* the clitoris even upon inspection. I tried finding the area multiple times but its somewhere inside? Like if i get aroused enough it opens up enough to let my finger through but generally its closed off and its a specific area? I cant tell where because its slightly inside my body i guess? I am guessing its some sort of internal clit but I have NO idea how to tell because it's closed off majority of the time. Its probably not the g spot because for that I think you have to like use another hole i think? I dont even know. Hence my confusion.

Anyways. I really love the pleasure buildup it gives and I think i probably got to a release yesterday but the process is absolutely awful for me because of the "pain". Like I hate touching it but I like the unknown of it all and the feeling of the buildup and knowing it'll be over.

I dont know how to combat this because on one hand I think ive figured out how my body gets to orgasm but on the other the leadup is such a terribly overstimulating experience that its almost painful and I loathe this sort of mismatch.
Thanks!

[Anya]

Hey insert_username,

What i'm hearing is that you are trying to masturbate, but once engaging for a while, you start to experience some overstimulation and pain in the area that you can't place as a tolerable or not kind of sensation? Let me know if i'm getting that right.

So firstly, I want to help relieve some of the worry you may be feeling. I have some inital ideas about what could be causing these sensations, and with some more detail from you, we can absolutely get to the bottom of what's going on here. There is nothing wrong with your body, I think we just need to do some investigating.

So you're right when you name the clitoris to be both and internal, and external mechanism. Most people think the clitoris to be just on the outside, but actually its a much bigger entity that can be felt both from the external part, called the vulva and internal part, the vagina.

Which part are you touching when you experience this pain? If you're talking about the external part of the clitoris, holding up a handheld mirror to the area can be a good way to get to know your body and identitfy which parts are which. You can do this sitting or standing. If you'd like to take a look at a diagram, we have one here . In general, basic anatomy fits in with what you mention about feeling like maybe the external part of the clitois is inside you until aroused. When aroused, much like the penis, the clitoris becomes erect and can be seen more easily. If you are talking about the internal part of the clitoris, or what can be felt by fitting a finger inside the vagina and pressing toward the belly button, that is still the clitoris, and what is colloquially known as the "g spot."

The feelings of build-up and tension you mention are common and reasonable, but pain is something trickier. Since there are so many nerve endings in the clitoris (like literally tens of thousands), good stimulation can sometimes turn into bad stimulation real quick, hence causing pain. This is certianly not ideal, but you are not alone in that feeling. Before I help you deal with pain you're feeling i'd love to get some more into from you. So it'd help me to know if it's the internal or external part you're talking about, and then if the placement of your fingers changes how the pain is felt (lots of harsh motion = very painful, or very light motion = still very painful). Let me know and we can figure this out!

[insert_username]

Hi anya!
Yeah kinda basically. I dont know if it hurts like traditionally like how... I guess how injuries usually hurt its more deeper and like internal itching(?). Like extremely tingly itching that gets super overstimulating very quickly when I start like moving my finger around and even then it almost is like overstimulation because of the oversensation? Kinda? I equate it to like. A whole weird genre of feeling. Its not pain in any traditional sense though. Like I feel extremely uncomfortable but I hesitate on whether the term "pain" actually fits...
Im not very good at describing stuff like this bare with me.

Upon further research (and a lot of self examination, because half the examples dont look like mine and I was losing it for weeks trying to figure it out) it might actually be the clitoris? I just might have a really big clitoral hood i think, because it genuinely feels like it tends to open up more when aroused (it is really hard to replicate when i am not lol) and I can wedge my finger in there when aroused to sort of feel/reach this spot (and its a spot in particular somewhere inside, but not the vaginal entrace because that particular entrance was significantly smaller and couldnt go further to any belly button if i tried) where I can feel the most stimulation. I tried finding it without inserting the fingers in and couldnt. I am about 70% sure its the clitoral gland thing but translating the maps to real life is really tough when half of them are wildly different from real life. The longer i look the more unsure I am lol.
I think it is that lighter motion wasnt affecting it *as much* if at all but more harder motion and i sort of feel that aforementioned feeling again, but really only when I stimulate it relatively well (eg. Rubbing it somehow at a medium pace)
If I simply just press on it or leave my finger there I dont feel that uncomfortable-ness at all, its really when I start moving my finger around that it starts.
I hope that helped somewhat, describing things is not my strong suit haha.

[char]

Hi insert_username! Anya isn't here at the moment, so I'll jump in for now, and I'll also let them know that you've replied.

Thanks for providing more context. To me, it does sound like you're stimulating the internal side of your clitoris. As Anya mentioned, the clitoris is a larger organ than it seems, and the G-spot is located around the area you shared. Since everyone's clitorises are different, it won't necessarily be in the same place, but again, it looks like you have been stimulating your G-spot.

I wonder if it's possible for you to experiment; does the pain persist if you use different fingers? Lubrication can also play a role here--if you're not lubricated enough, be it naturally or with the additional help of lube, it can make stimulation and insertion (even if not deep) uncomfortable. Do you think lubrication is something you can or need to pay more attention to?

[insert_username]

Oh, that's interesting. I just always assumed the g-spot was inside even deeper like the vaginal canal (which looked/felt deeper even though ive never actually inserted anything there, i only explored partway ish one time before) because that's how I interpreted it from the readings. Had no idea!

I did try (natural) lubrication like on my finger and thats mainly how ive been interacting with most of my parts during masturbation, and it kind of just makes it more sensitive i think? It does make the experience better but it didnt really remove the actual sensation if that makes sense. Like im guessing half my concerns is that its just really sensitive too and it causes like a lot of discomfort in that regard and I need to somehow cross that road before getting to the release stage especially when i really rub it in and it just... idk. Like I guess if I think about it in terms of stages it's the plateau that just gets extremely oversensitive for me to the point of genuinely bothering me. Thats probably the best description I can think of for it

I havent tried with different fingers, which could be an interesting idea. Been mainly using my pointer for everything
Im not entirely sure if more than one finger can fit inside the area because it's very small like I said before, but I suppose i could switch it up a bit yeah. I might try it next time, see how it goes.

[Latha]

Hello insert_username!

Figuring out what is causing the over-stimulation might take a bit of experimentation and time--feel free to let us know what is working and what hasn't.

I wonder, have you been able to get past the plateau stage with other kinds of masturbation? Does it ever help to take a break from g-spot fingering and try another activity when you start to feel overstimulated?

[insert_username]

I havent been able to get past plateau (or anything after arousal bc otherwise it all feels the same) with other kinds no. This sort of g-spot stimulation is like the only place ive found so far that gets me there. I'm still kind of new to it so ive just been playing around until I can find something that feels the most pleasurable. Maybe I just havent discovered it yet or something.

I could try taking a break, but im not sure if you mean just cease entirely and do a completely unrelated thing or continue but in less stimulating areas? I dont entirely feel like doing the former because it then sort of feels unsatisfactory to just stop altogether I think once im at it. I could try just chilling or something.

[Latha]

Hello Insert_username!

Sorry about that. Yes, I did mean to continue, just in a less stimulating area. There are a lot of erogenous areas on the body--taking a break to explore them might keep things pleasurable in a less overwhelming way.

I'm still kind of new to it so ive just been playing around until I can find something that feels the most pleasurable. Maybe I just havent discovered it yet or something.

Hmmm. I wouldn't say that there is one activity that you have to search for that will be the most pleasurable. Rather, playing around will let you learn about your body and what feels good. With time, it will give you a sense of how to make pleasure happen when you want it.

[insert_username]

Yeah i guess so. Ive been mainly just going with the flow and seeing what feels like what haha. I don't think all the erogenous areas work for me, in my experience anyways. Ive had awesome luck with nipples but nothing much else on that end, and ive tried other parts as well. Perhaps it wouldnt hurt to try more or something

[Latha]

I know that was really indefinite advice, I'm sorry. It is just that everyone is different--unpressured exploration and following what feels good for you usually does help with a lot of these questions. At the very least, I agree that it is unlikely to hurt.

If I may ask, could you say a little about what is on your mind during masturbation? What is your mental state like when you reach the plateau? Do you feel absorbed in the moment, do you end up dropping away or feeling distracted?

[insert_username]

I don't particularly think about anything, I think.
I sort of try to just focus on what I'm feeling (as best as I can without my thoughts wandering to something entirely unrelated) and sort of go with the flow that way. I am definitely absorbed in the moment I think, at least I try to be anyways.
I realize the more im just focused on what I feel the more I feel everything
During plateau it comes to an extreme high point and im having to almost fight to keep going, and thats really where I sort of drop away because it becomes far too much for me to handle.

[amber]

Hi insert_username !

I want to reiterate what some other volunteers said here - it it totally normal to feel a sorta overwhelming feeling with direct clitoral stimulation. I agree with Latha that trying to engage other areas of your body may help that feeling. Along with that, I think allowing yourself time and not rush yourself to orgasm is another good thing to remember.

Lots of people enjoy the feeling of building themselves up then pulling back and then repeating the process. Sometimes that overwhelming pleasure feeling can lessen once the body is more used to/comfortable to the sensations.