I don’t know how to fully come out as bi to my close family members and I don’t know where to start

[aniyah_lashayyy]

So basically, I need help on how to finally start throwing myself out there and how to be more confident to talk to my crush/girls bcs I realized I want to start being physical wit girls too bcs let’s be honest when my current crush comes near me or talks to me i get extremely awkward,nervous and shy and all of a sudden im not overly yapping no more so y’all what do i do abt that and how do i become more confident and more i need dat to her and also im scare ri come out to my close family members because my grandma is extremely with god and i am indeed a Christian and one time when I was telling my mom da daily school tea I had told her dat dis baby stud was flirting wit me talm bout I was blushing over her and stuff and den I had told da stud I wasn’t and that I had made a face my was like “u betta not be into girls” and “I was finna” or stuff related to that even tho both her and my grandma accept my older grown cousin cs he’s gay and likes boys but still im scared that I mainly sacred that I might be violating my religion or I might be looked at differently around my close family members because I’m into girls as well so y’all pls respond back.

[Sofi]

Hi there aniyah_lashayyy. There's a lot to unpack here, but let's start with the religion stuff. Unfortunately, it's common for people coming from a religious household to feel some shame or fear around their sexuality, especially if they're not straight. It doesn't help to hear comments like "you better not be into girls", that's exactly the kind of comment that would make you uncomfortable about liking girls. I'm sorry you have heard those kinds of comments and it has you feeling nervous about all this.

You are certainly not required to come out, especially if your family isn't really accepting of it. They accept your older cousin who's gay, but unfortunately, sometimes there's a different standard applies to girls vs boys. Not sure if that's the case here, but it could be based on the comments they've made. They could also just be joking, but either way, you have every right to wait longer to come out and for now, you can work on exploring this on your own without your family involved. We don't really owe it to anyone to share anything we're not comfortable sharing, after all. That said, if it's something you do really want to do, we can talk through it with you beforehand so you feel prepared for that conversation.

Getting shy and nervous around a crush is super normal and typical at your age (and honestly, at all ages), so that might have less to do with the fact that it's a girl and more to do with the lack of experience with things like flirting and dating. It's totally okay to feel that way! You don't need to be super confident if it's not how you're feeling, as long as you aren't uncomfortable, it's okay to feel nervous. Some people even find it endearing. That said, we can also talk more about this and how to feel more comfortable in general talking to someone you like. Do you want to talk about that more?

[aniyah_lashayyy]

Yesss

[Sofi]

We have a great piece with some general do's and don't's for crushes: Quickies: Crushes

At the bottom of it, there are links to other helpful articles as well, so I recommend reading through some that call to you. How do you feel after reading those pieces? Let me know if you have specific questions!