Approaching woman.

[SilverFalcon92]

I haven’t approached a woman that I’m romantically interested in for about 4 years, and it’s not the easiest to try to approach them now, simply because I haven’t done it in years. I have been hearing that not a lot of women have been getting approached lately, and I’m not sure if that’s true or not. Anyway, for me, I never had success when it came to approaching them. I wouldn’t say the rejection was bad they’ll just say "I have a boyfriend", something like that I remember. I don’t know if it’ll be better nowadays in 2026 compared to 2022. It was only in school too and not outside of that. So my question is, should I go back to approaching a woman in 2026 or do I not? I’m open to tips.

[char]

Hi SilverFalcon92! I think this decision relies on what your values are and what you currently have in store. From your last conversations with us across platforms (SMS and message boards), it seems like you're in a learning phase--you're questioning the things that are shown to you on social media, you're reflecting on your own beliefs and values, you're looking back to your past experiences, and you're showing curiosity to things that might be unfamiliar to you. Which is great, because this means you're discovering who you are as a person, outside of what you may have been taught.

Approaching folks you're romantically interested in can be daunting, especially if you haven't done so for a while. I'm not sure about the women around you--especially because I have no idea how your social circles are--but it could be that some folks are more mindful of the people they engage in romantically and/or sexually. This can look like being more selective with who they interact with in their community, for example.

My questions for you would be:
- What does approaching women mean to you? Why do you think doing this is relevant to your life? How would a relationship with them--regardless of the form--influence you, considering your current circumstances?
- How have you approached women in the past? Did you approach them with the intention of making friends, finding a girlfriend, or something else? What has worked, and what hasn't?

It would be great if you could check out our article on relationship models I shared with you, the one in your post called "Traditional relationship." You might also find this article useful: Embracing Newbiehood: How to Approach Dating and Sex in Your 20s With Little or No Experience. What do you think?

[SilverFalcon92]

Thank you for reading my post. That really means a lot to me. I enjoyed reading your messages, and I’ll take a look at the article and answer your question.
What does approaching women mean to you? It means that I’m interested in getting to know the person by having a normal conversation and seeing where it goes and if they say no or if they don’t ask questions back, I’ll say you have a nice day. The second one will be it gives me a chance to see what I actually like and want from a woman, and yes in the past I did approach them with intention of wanting a relationship from them.

[mikky]

Hey SilverFalcon92,
I'll also note that you'll probably notice approaching women is going to be different now, not necessarily because of any cultural changes in the last four years, but because you are now four years older and a young adult rather than a teenager!
I think it's really great that you are able to go into this with interest in getting to know someone, and willing to take their cues if it isn't clicking.

[SilverFalcon92]

I’ll just start by having a conversation with them to see where the vibes go and if they don’t ask any questions back and try to maintain the conversation or just don’t seem interested, I’ll just tell them to have a nice day.

[Andy]

Hi SilverFalcon92, that sounds like a good approach (to approaching people in general:)!
Is there maybe someone particular you are interested in starting a conversation with?

I also want to recommend this great page with lots of good advice columns around dating and relationships, for example this one might have some relevant advice to your situation: https://captainawkward.com/2012/04/19/2 ... rested-in/