Do boys like to give vaginal massage?

[RedRabbit]

I'm absolutely no fan of "regular" sex (all that penis vagina stuff can get a girl pregnant- and yes, even with pills, even with condoms, and condoms ain't fun so i've heard). I am however a big fan of vaginal massage, and just massage in that area in general. As a single girl, i masturbate occasionally using such techniques. Although i hope to someday find a partner to share in spiritual and companionable pursuits, i fear that a future partner may not be interested in massage, as i've read that typically, guys "go in for second base" without paying much attention to much else. Every boy is different, and different cultures influence people, but is there a large percentage- or even any percentage- of boys out there who enjoy giving vaginal massages as the "main course" as opposed to regular sex?

[Heather]

If we know anything about human sexuality, it is that it is mind-bogglingly diverse. So yes, we can safely say that there are men in the world who enjoy rubbing vulvas (the vagina is internal, so rubbing it is really manual sex, though we would usually say the same of any activity that involves hands and genitals).

Manual sex - or genital massage, if you prefer that terminology - is a very popular sexual activity among people of all genders.

Too, if you ever find you are with a partner who just "goes for" certain things sexually, rather than asking you and communicating with you, that would be a cue you simply need to work on building more and better communication in a sexual interaction or relationship.

[RedRabbit]

Oh okay thanks. I guess the person who wrote the article wasn't aware of respecting another person's boundaries or preferances. I'm just worried cuz i don't want to come across as selfish or anthing, if and when i do find someone i'd like to have sex with.

[Heather]

I don't know what you're referring to when you say "the article."

Why would this be about being selfish? In other words, if someone else enjoys this -- and it's not like we can't enjoy how something feels on body parts other than our genitals, so people often will have good physical feelings from something like manual sex they're doing with someone's genitals -- and you enjoy it, how is it selfish?

[annie26]

RedRabbit, don't generalize that all boys aren't interested in this! My boyfriend does this a lot to me, and he just loves it. And I think the reason behind this is that he knows that I get really horny when he massages me. So if a guy really respects your needs and desires, he will do what you would love him to do, and not out of obligation, but out of enjoyment. So make sure that you build up enough rapport and openness between you both before you move on to these things, so you'll be able to tell him what you like or do not like while making out or sex.