I want a sex toy

[orangeminion]

Hi! as the subject says I want to get a sex toy but I'm 13 years old and a female. I am turning 14 in August so I was thinking about waiting then. I do feel like I’m ready for it and responsible and , basically just know a lot about my body and things I want and don’t want. The reason why I was in consideration about getting one was because months ago maybe last year I was putting objects (like markers) that were unsafe for my body and in my body that I was unaware that was unsanitary and could hurt me now that I am way more educated and way more smarter about things and this topic it makes me more prepared, the only thing that is kinda holding me back is not exactly guilt but two sides of my thinking are split like one side is like ‘you’re too young’ the other side is like ‘it’s completely normal and better then everything else you were doing’ but i know it’s very normal. I used to just compare my experiences and things with mastubration to other people’s online and thinking because I’m this age I’m gonna have to go to the pace others go so I’m not considered ‘fast’ or too young to do that which I think also got my mind going with all these anxious thoughts But I know even if I ever was to get one I wouldn’t be reckless with it or unsanitary because I would know how to take care of it and myself.

[Sofi]

Hi orangeminion, welcome to the boards!

As you said, masturbation is normal and there’s nothing wrong or shameful about it. Getting a sex toy at your age can be difficult, though, unless you’re able to go buy one in person or online with a debit card. The other option, which a lot of people opt for, is making your own. We have a whole article with some ideas and points on how to make sure it’s safe. You can read it here: D.I.Y Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition

Let me know if you have any specific questions about it (or this topic in general)!

[orangeminion]

Thank you for responding! Do you think getting one is reasonable in my situation?

[Heather]

Hey there, orangeminion.

I don't actually think that using sex toys is something that needs to be reasonable, per se, it just needs to be something someone wants for themselves (or with a partner, when partners are involved). I don't think there's any real difference between masturbating with our own hands or a toy in terms of when someone is old enough, and I certainly don't think that things like the idea that people can be sexually "fast" are sound. That's based in anti-sex attitudes, not in anything to do with healthy sexuality.

[orangeminion]

Okay thank you. About the part including ‘fast’ I don’t agree with automatically being ‘fast’ because you masturbate etc it’s just what mostly social media and others have said and I let it go through my head. Thank you for answering my questions!!

[Heather]

I hear you. It's hard sometimes not to let cultural sex shaming get into our heads. <3